anorexiarecovery #anorexiarecovery Instagram Hashtag

I've asked myself repeatedly whether maybe I'm not the relationship kinda girl. If maybe, having anorexia as a 15 year old and then osfed for a number of years, before relapsing into anorexia again, - if all this maybe destroyed whatever capacity for romantic relationship, physical closeness and sexual tenderness that I could have had, were I not so captured by the eating disorder.
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I have asked myself if I am perhaps simply not loveable.
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I have asked myself if even attempting a romantic relationship would be unfair and unkind to the other person.
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I have asked myself if I would only hurt him or her.
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If maybe I'm just too broken.
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Maybe I need to spend the rest og my life alone, so as not to hurt anyone.
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So as not to feel forced to disguise that I am not fully recovered and that this will take time.
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I have asked myself these things.
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And I've decided that perhaps my thoughts about this, are true. But that just like scientific hypotheses, my beliefs need to be tested on empirical data.
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So even though I am in doubt about this, at least I'll give it a try.
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And trust that it is not up to me to keep people from getting to know me.
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It is up to me to let people.
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And then, they can decide.
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At least, that way I am not condemning myself to an eternal single-life.
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That way I do not take at face value my beliefs about who I am, what I am capable of, and whether or not someone can love me.
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Perhaps it is true.
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But we don't know that before we put our beliefs to the test, right?
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So I'll go on a date, even if it scares the living daylight outta me. I'll just test my hypothesis. Let's see what the data says.
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🤓🤷‍♂️
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#anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #data #recovery #love #dating #hildelearnstoplay #hypotheses #beliefs #broken #unloveable #london #travel #locks #empiricaldata #relationships

I've asked myself repeatedly whether maybe I'm not the relationship kinda girl. If maybe, having anorexia as a 15 year old and then osfed for a number of years, before relapsing into anorexia again, - if all this maybe destroyed whatever capacity for romantic relationship, physical closeness and sexual tenderness that I could have had, were I not so captured by the eating disorder. . I have asked myself if I am perhaps simply not loveable. . I have asked myself if even attempting a romantic relationship would be unfair and unkind to the other person. . I have asked myself if I would only hurt him or her. . If maybe I'm just too broken. . Maybe I need to spend the rest og my life alone, so as not to hurt anyone. . So as not to feel forced to disguise that I am not fully recovered and that this will take time. . I have asked myself these things. . . And I've decided that perhaps my thoughts about this, are true. But that just like scientific hypotheses, my beliefs need to be tested on empirical data. . So even though I am in doubt about this, at least I'll give it a try. . And trust that it is not up to me to keep people from getting to know me. . It is up to me to let people. . And then, they can decide. . At least, that way I am not condemning myself to an eternal single-life. . That way I do not take at face value my beliefs about who I am, what I am capable of, and whether or not someone can love me. . Perhaps it is true. . But we don't know that before we put our beliefs to the test, right? . So I'll go on a date, even if it scares the living daylight outta me. I'll just test my hypothesis. Let's see what the data says. . 🤓🤷‍♂️ . #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #edrecovery #data #recovery #love #dating #hildelearnstoplay #hypotheses #beliefs #broken #unloveable #london #travel #locks #empiricaldata #relationships

9 likes - 9 comments
Is it too cold for smoothie bowls? (Yes, yes it is.)
Having something sweet to take the bitterness away 🙌🏻 #onedayatatime #breakfastclub #smoothworker #eatingforellie #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdissorder #mentalhealth #anorexia

Is it too cold for smoothie bowls? (Yes, yes it is.) Having something sweet to take the bitterness away 🙌🏻 #onedayatatime #breakfastclub #smoothworker #eatingforellie #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdissorder #mentalhealth #anorexia

4 likes - 4 comments
< 14.112018 > starting the morning off with strawberry oatmeal :) that random Hello Panda mini biscuit in the middle was just to make it cute lol but its also filled with strawberry cream (last picture) so it fits the theme 😁😅 || -
oats 🥣+ strawberry milk🍓🥛 + @whey_box strawberry protein powder 🍓+ strawberries🍓🍓 + raspberries + chia seeds + some strawberry yogurt 🍓+ Haribo Starmix heart-shaped gummies ❤+ homemade granola + Meiji Hello Panda Strawberry-cream filled mini biscuit🍓🐼
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#oatmeal #oats #porridge #oatmealbowl #strawberry #strawberryoats #strawberryoatmeal #granola #healthybreakfast #breakfast #strawberries #healthyfood #feedyoursoul #foodphotography #foodblogger #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #edrecovery #edwarrior #strongnotskinny #edfamily #foods4thought #feedfeed #food #foodblogfeed

< 14.112018 > starting the morning off with strawberry oatmeal :) that random Hello Panda mini biscuit in the middle was just to make it cute lol but its also filled with strawberry cream (last picture) so it fits the theme 😁😅 || - oats 🥣+ strawberry milk🍓🥛 + @whey_box strawberry protein powder 🍓+ strawberries🍓🍓 + raspberries + chia seeds + some strawberry yogurt 🍓+ Haribo Starmix heart-shaped gummies ❤+ homemade granola + Meiji Hello Panda Strawberry-cream filled mini biscuit🍓🐼 ____ #oatmeal #oats #porridge #oatmealbowl #strawberry #strawberryoats #strawberryoatmeal #granola #healthybreakfast #breakfast #strawberries #healthyfood #feedyoursoul #foodphotography #foodblogger #foodisfuel #foodismedicine #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #edrecovery #edwarrior #strongnotskinny #edfamily #foods4thought #feedfeed #food #foodblogfeed

5 likes - 5 comments
The ultrasound came up with a cyst on the one ovary and I’m kinda scared. However it could just be part of my cycle so I have to redo my test. Struggled a bit with food today. The dairy intake is freaking me out. I feel like I’m gaining and it kills. Also my mum  is constantly asking when I will be able to ‘just eat normally again’ which is triggering (she wasn’t at the dietician appt) she’s refusing to buy more chocolate bars and says I can just add more cheese to my wrap for lunch WHICH ISNT ON THE DAMN PLAN and she’s refusing to buy me the normal sized museli bars. Ugh. Met with a new psych today she seems nice but I was in a bad mood so I think I made a shitty first impression...
#goal #speech #inspo #icecream #challenge #fearfood #fear #healthynotskinny #recover #recovery #ed #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #pintparty #eatittobeatit #strongnotskinny #vegan #health #fitness #bodypositive #bopo #bulimiarecovery

The ultrasound came up with a cyst on the one ovary and I’m kinda scared. However it could just be part of my cycle so I have to redo my test. Struggled a bit with food today. The dairy intake is freaking me out. I feel like I’m gaining and it kills. Also my mum is constantly asking when I will be able to ‘just eat normally again’ which is triggering (she wasn’t at the dietician appt) she’s refusing to buy more chocolate bars and says I can just add more cheese to my wrap for lunch WHICH ISNT ON THE DAMN PLAN and she’s refusing to buy me the normal sized museli bars. Ugh. Met with a new psych today she seems nice but I was in a bad mood so I think I made a shitty first impression... #goal #speech #inspo #icecream #challenge #fearfood #fear #healthynotskinny #recover #recovery #ed #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #pintparty #eatittobeatit #strongnotskinny #vegan #health #fitness #bodypositive #bopo #bulimiarecovery

14 likes - 14 comments
Samma frukost som alltid, men även denna morgon en lite större portion än vad jag brukar ta.💪😞 Jag är konstant uppblåst och det är inte kul.. Jag känner mig tjock och ful, misslyckad och värdelös. Min självbild är kass och jag mår extremt dåligt i stort sett varje dag. Pillerna jag har fått gör mig bara trött. De fungerar inte riktigt så bra som jag hoppats på. Allt känns skit och jag vet inte hur mycket mer jag orkar. Det är ett krig i mitt huvud. Jag kämpar på och försöker vinna varje slag, men belöningen är ångest. Hatar ångest.😓 Kämpar på. Jag ska bli frisk!! #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexia #ätstörning #äs #ana #anarecovery #recovery #eatingdissorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #anafighter #anawarrior #fuckana #realrecovery #food #recovering #fooddiary #foodie #foodismedicine #matärmedicin #nurishtoflourish #nourishing #foodisfuel

Samma frukost som alltid, men även denna morgon en lite större portion än vad jag brukar ta.💪😞 Jag är konstant uppblåst och det är inte kul.. Jag känner mig tjock och ful, misslyckad och värdelös. Min självbild är kass och jag mår extremt dåligt i stort sett varje dag. Pillerna jag har fått gör mig bara trött. De fungerar inte riktigt så bra som jag hoppats på. Allt känns skit och jag vet inte hur mycket mer jag orkar. Det är ett krig i mitt huvud. Jag kämpar på och försöker vinna varje slag, men belöningen är ångest. Hatar ångest.😓 Kämpar på. Jag ska bli frisk!! #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #fuckanorexia #ätstörning #äs #ana #anarecovery #recovery #eatingdissorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #anafighter #anawarrior #fuckana #realrecovery #food #recovering #fooddiary #foodie #foodismedicine #matärmedicin #nurishtoflourish #nourishing #foodisfuel

13 likes - 13 comments
#breakfast my beloved chocolate granola mixed with oats and an apple

Bc I know I have to gain I increased it at least by adding a of an apple to my USUAL portion. And I also used way more milk than on the picture.
Today I am kinda happy my mum made the chicken curry bc it's high in calories and I ran out of fresubin so I need to eat more during the day bc my nightsnack isn't that high in calories. I need to know how it goes without it. I got a new recipe from my doctor so I'll get another big package but that's no long term solution. 
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#recoverywin#recoveryfood#anorexiarecovery#anorexiafighter#againstana#eatittobeatit#edrecovery#edfighter#edfam#magersuchtrecovery#edwarrior#recoveryispossible#edfree#anarecovery#anorexianervosa#recoveryisworthit#eatittobeatit#foodisfuel#mentalhealth#anafighter#magersuchtkampf#essstörung#mealplan#minniemaud

#breakfast my beloved chocolate granola mixed with oats and an apple Bc I know I have to gain I increased it at least by adding a of an apple to my USUAL portion. And I also used way more milk than on the picture. Today I am kinda happy my mum made the chicken curry bc it's high in calories and I ran out of fresubin so I need to eat more during the day bc my nightsnack isn't that high in calories. I need to know how it goes without it. I got a new recipe from my doctor so I'll get another big package but that's no long term solution. Werbung #recoverywin #recoveryfood #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #againstana #eatittobeatit #edrecovery #edfighter #edfam #magersuchtrecovery #edwarrior #recoveryispossible #edfree #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #recoveryisworthit #eatittobeatit #foodisfuel #mentalhealth #anafighter #magersuchtkampf #essstörung #mealplan #minniemaud

10 likes - 10 comments
I have decided to quit modelling for maybe a long while or forever. It's a hard decision but I got a lot on me right now mostly in my head. I need to work  a lot on my bodyimage, just because I've gained weight doesn't mean that I still feel disgusted over my body and I have felt that way over my body since I was around 8 but not until the age of 13 I developed an eatingdisorder. I am not allowed to workout, I'm not allowed to have a job because then I would go backwards.... since I lost my job and not moving around so much I have gained my weight back from before I had a job, I know that if I start a new job now I will loose that weight again and that is going backward and not forward, I can't let my anorexia take more control over me than it already does. I'm longing for that day when I can look at myself in the mirror and see what everyone else see when they look at me.

#eatingdisorderawareness #anorexia #recovery #anorexiastory #myrecoveryjourney #mylifewithmentalillness #depression #anxiety #mylifewithanorexia #mystory #myanorexiastory #aldrigensam #friskfri #anorexiarecovery #nevergiveup #speakup #anorexiakills

I have decided to quit modelling for maybe a long while or forever. It's a hard decision but I got a lot on me right now mostly in my head. I need to work a lot on my bodyimage, just because I've gained weight doesn't mean that I still feel disgusted over my body and I have felt that way over my body since I was around 8 but not until the age of 13 I developed an eatingdisorder. I am not allowed to workout, I'm not allowed to have a job because then I would go backwards.... since I lost my job and not moving around so much I have gained my weight back from before I had a job, I know that if I start a new job now I will loose that weight again and that is going backward and not forward, I can't let my anorexia take more control over me than it already does. I'm longing for that day when I can look at myself in the mirror and see what everyone else see when they look at me. #eatingdisorderawareness #anorexia #recovery #anorexiastory #myrecoveryjourney #mylifewithmentalillness #depression #anxiety #mylifewithanorexia #mystory #myanorexiastory #aldrigensam #friskfri #anorexiarecovery #nevergiveup #speakup #anorexiakills

11 likes - 11 comments
Morning lovelies. I'm not feeling much better after last night at all 😞 depression is just at an all time high, and it has been all week. Im just too tired to do anything today so had to rearrange leaving uni and collecting my stuff to tomorrow. Not sure what to do with myself, feel like ive given up, and like i dont deserve to be well, or recieve help. Anyways. Just going to watch tv, and lie down. Hope you all have a good day. This is hot u/s almond milk, with S/F Strawberry crusha, and sweetener. Ill probs have a few cups of these throughout the morning 💖 Stay strong 💖 I'm sorry for being a negatively Nelly, and probably the biggest let down ever..... i hope one day ill reach a point where i can be a role model for you all.

#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #strongnotskinny #veggie #vegetarian #adultswithed #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #recovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #edrecovery

Morning lovelies. I'm not feeling much better after last night at all 😞 depression is just at an all time high, and it has been all week. Im just too tired to do anything today so had to rearrange leaving uni and collecting my stuff to tomorrow. Not sure what to do with myself, feel like ive given up, and like i dont deserve to be well, or recieve help. Anyways. Just going to watch tv, and lie down. Hope you all have a good day. This is hot u/s almond milk, with S/F Strawberry crusha, and sweetener. Ill probs have a few cups of these throughout the morning 💖 Stay strong 💖 I'm sorry for being a negatively Nelly, and probably the biggest let down ever..... i hope one day ill reach a point where i can be a role model for you all. #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #strongnotskinny #veggie #vegetarian #adultswithed #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #ednos #ednosrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #recovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #edrecovery

14 likes - 14 comments
Next stop: LONDON! Pela primeira vez vou viajar com a família do meu namorado para Londres que é uma cidade que mora no meu coração ❣ Viagens são sempre um grande obstáculo para mim pelo simples fato de comer fora em todas as refeições. Preciso dizer aos monstrinhos que viajar não significa so comer e sim passear e conhecer lugares diferentes! Quero colocar como uma meta para a minha viagem a tranquilidade. A minha rotina está uma loucura e com esses pensamentos me atormentando eu não descanso nunca 😥 estou bem cansada desses meus monstrinhos então vou usar aqui como a maior fonte de desabafo quando eu estiver tendo um momento mais difícil. #anorexiarecovery #eattobeat #recovery #foodisfuel #carbscarbscarbs #strongnotskinny #healthyfood #girlgains #foodforthought #mindbodygram #eatgoodfeelgood #eatforhealth #focus #intuitiveeating #mindfulness #bodypositivity #embrace

Next stop: LONDON! Pela primeira vez vou viajar com a família do meu namorado para Londres que é uma cidade que mora no meu coração ❣ Viagens são sempre um grande obstáculo para mim pelo simples fato de comer fora em todas as refeições. Preciso dizer aos monstrinhos que viajar não significa so comer e sim passear e conhecer lugares diferentes! Quero colocar como uma meta para a minha viagem a tranquilidade. A minha rotina está uma loucura e com esses pensamentos me atormentando eu não descanso nunca 😥 estou bem cansada desses meus monstrinhos então vou usar aqui como a maior fonte de desabafo quando eu estiver tendo um momento mais difícil. #anorexiarecovery #eattobeat #recovery #foodisfuel #carbscarbscarbs #strongnotskinny #healthyfood #girlgains #foodforthought #mindbodygram #eatgoodfeelgood #eatforhealth #focus #intuitiveeating #mindfulness #bodypositivity #embrace

24 likes - 24 comments
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Dinner, stir fry!
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I was home alone but still had dinner!
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Consists of: mushroom, capsicum, carrot, zucchini, cauliflower, beans and 3 (!!) two of vegetable stock
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #likeforlike #gainpost #anorexiafighter #edwarrior #fuckana #bulimia #mentalhealth #mealplan #sandwhich #dinner #breakfast #lunch #snacks #yum #chia #chocolate #fearfood #vegetarian #quorn

- Dinner, stir fry! - I was home alone but still had dinner! - Consists of: mushroom, capsicum, carrot, zucchini, cauliflower, beans and 3 (!!) two of vegetable stock - #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #likeforlike #gainpost #anorexiafighter #edwarrior #fuckana #bulimia #mentalhealth #mealplan #sandwhich #dinner #breakfast #lunch #snacks #yum #chia #chocolate #fearfood #vegetarian #quorn

30 likes - 30 comments
stressed because of exams, but i've been back into the gym having ups and downs but generally feeling good. its hard getting back into it after so much time off, i feel weak and like i can't compare to those others at the gym. but really, its just a challenge to get stronger and start from the beginning again. after exams you best believe i'll be back into beast mode 😎
never let yourself fall in those thoughts, no matter what your body looks like, there is beauty and strength inside you 💗
(sorry for the cringiness 😜)
#strongnotskinny #anorexiarecovery #healthy #happy

stressed because of exams, but i've been back into the gym having ups and downs but generally feeling good. its hard getting back into it after so much time off, i feel weak and like i can't compare to those others at the gym. but really, its just a challenge to get stronger and start from the beginning again. after exams you best believe i'll be back into beast mode 😎 never let yourself fall in those thoughts, no matter what your body looks like, there is beauty and strength inside you 💗 (sorry for the cringiness 😜) #strongnotskinny #anorexiarecovery #healthy #happy

32 likes - 32 comments
Dropped my sister at the airport this morning & we detoured for a breakfast muffin. Raspberry & coconut 🤤
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If you’re trying to stop counting calories, one thing that really helped me was going to places like this bakery, where they don’t publish nutritional values. It helped break that mental calculation and manic negotiation of calories / ingredients / taste / cost... because you can’t (as much) when you don’t have all the torturous information available.
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Its so scary at first because your head convinces you need to know all these numbers to make the right decision.... “what if the muffins at the bakery are slightly bigger than Starbucks? What if they’ve got more sugar? What if they’re denser & so higher calories? What if I choose the wrong one? What if I gain loads of weight?” Bla bla bla 🤯
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But once you do it a couple of times you realise nothing bad actually does happen. So what if the muffins are slightly bigger / denser / sugarier / higher / whatever-er.... you don’t balloon, or gain & gain, or become unhealthy, or self combust, or whatever mental shit your heads saying 😂
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I think the way I’ve learnt nothing bad happens is by doing the thing I’m scared of - again & again & again! #challengerepeat it’s all about relearning & rewiring that Brain!
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverypositive #recoveryisworthit #selflove #bodypositive #youtuber #vlogger #healthy #edrecovery #foodblogger #strongnotskinny #selflove #bodyconfidence #bodyimage #oppositeactions #lifepositivebodyneutral

Dropped my sister at the airport this morning & we detoured for a breakfast muffin. Raspberry & coconut 🤤 . If you’re trying to stop counting calories, one thing that really helped me was going to places like this bakery, where they don’t publish nutritional values. It helped break that mental calculation and manic negotiation of calories / ingredients / taste / cost... because you can’t (as much) when you don’t have all the torturous information available. . Its so scary at first because your head convinces you need to know all these numbers to make the right decision.... “what if the muffins at the bakery are slightly bigger than Starbucks? What if they’ve got more sugar? What if they’re denser & so higher calories? What if I choose the wrong one? What if I gain loads of weight?” Bla bla bla 🤯 . But once you do it a couple of times you realise nothing bad actually does happen. So what if the muffins are slightly bigger / denser / sugarier / higher / whatever-er.... you don’t balloon, or gain & gain, or become unhealthy, or self combust, or whatever mental shit your heads saying 😂 . I think the way I’ve learnt nothing bad happens is by doing the thing I’m scared of - again & again & again! #challengerepeat it’s all about relearning & rewiring that Brain! . . #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoverypositive #recoveryisworthit #selflove #bodypositive #youtuber #vlogger #healthy #edrecovery #foodblogger #strongnotskinny #selflove #bodyconfidence #bodyimage #oppositeactions #lifepositivebodyneutral

110 likes - 110 comments
🌟Morning!
🌟My #morningsnack is a #hotchocolate and #saltedcaramel #fibreone 🌟Im just about to go to the shops but im not going to school today
🌟Trying to convince myself that this is okay
🌟Im just so tired and ive got a lot of work to do so im hoping i can do it today
🌟Taking breaks is okay
🌟And tbh school was getting pretty hard to cope with again
🌟Like it just makes me so low and unable to function
🌟Ive showered today which is a good thing as i struggle with that
🌟But im just going to take my day as it comes
💗Have a good day💗
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anasucks #dontletanorexiawin #goawayana #beatana #food #eat #eatittobeatit #foodshouldnotbefeared #freefromed #foodismedicine #depression #recovery #realrecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodislife #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #food #eat #snackandsmile #mentalhealth

🌟Morning! 🌟My #morningsnack is a #hotchocolate and #saltedcaramel #fibreone 🌟Im just about to go to the shops but im not going to school today 🌟Trying to convince myself that this is okay 🌟Im just so tired and ive got a lot of work to do so im hoping i can do it today 🌟Taking breaks is okay 🌟And tbh school was getting pretty hard to cope with again 🌟Like it just makes me so low and unable to function 🌟Ive showered today which is a good thing as i struggle with that 🌟But im just going to take my day as it comes 💗Have a good day💗 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anasucks #dontletanorexiawin #goawayana #beatana #food #eat #eatittobeatit #foodshouldnotbefeared #freefromed #foodismedicine #depression #recovery #realrecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodislife #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #food #eat #snackandsmile #mentalhealth

15 likes - 15 comments
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Sometimes life doesn't go to plan and bad things happen. But if you can stay strong, keep going and come out the other side, you'll learn so much about yourself.
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I'm no longer the person I was 7 years ago before I became ill. I hardly recognise her. A suit wearing, career driven accountant who was motivated by money. Always looking immaculate. A complete perfectionist. The important things in my life were exotic travel, fast cars, posh restaurants and nice clothes. Basically just things.
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Then shit happened, the career fell apart, I fell apart and my life fell apart.
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I put it all back together again but in a completely different way. I realised that I'd followed a certain career path because that's what I'd been told to do. I behaved and presented in a particular way because that's what I was expected to do. I accumulated material things because I wanted approval for what I was doing. Everything was black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. I was an automaton functioning inside a human body.
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Over the past 7 years while I was very unwell, then inpatient and then in recovery, I've done a lot of soul searching and self exploration. I've pushed all of those crappy expectations and the approval seeking to one side. And bit by bit the 'real' me has emerged. A much softer me. Kinder. More patient. Less judgemental. Calmer. Wiser. More compassionate. More loving.
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I've never thought of myself as creative but I've discovered a part of me that I never knew existed. A love of writing, cooking, baking, school projects and more. I've found my inner hippy and love yoga, aromatherapy, crystals, meditation and anything holistic.
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I'm even seeing a life coach to help me to move on and start planning my own holistic business. No more corporate employment or accountancy for me, just plans for a small, self employed business working with people.
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And the important things in my life now? My children and hubby. My true friends. Happiness. Good health. Security. Recovery. I've learned to appreciate the things that really matter.
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So this is me. The REAL me. And no going back. Love me or hate me but I'm not changing for anyone ✨💖💫
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#beyourself #beyou #bereal

. . Sometimes life doesn't go to plan and bad things happen. But if you can stay strong, keep going and come out the other side, you'll learn so much about yourself. . I'm no longer the person I was 7 years ago before I became ill. I hardly recognise her. A suit wearing, career driven accountant who was motivated by money. Always looking immaculate. A complete perfectionist. The important things in my life were exotic travel, fast cars, posh restaurants and nice clothes. Basically just things. . Then shit happened, the career fell apart, I fell apart and my life fell apart. . I put it all back together again but in a completely different way. I realised that I'd followed a certain career path because that's what I'd been told to do. I behaved and presented in a particular way because that's what I was expected to do. I accumulated material things because I wanted approval for what I was doing. Everything was black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. I was an automaton functioning inside a human body. . Over the past 7 years while I was very unwell, then inpatient and then in recovery, I've done a lot of soul searching and self exploration. I've pushed all of those crappy expectations and the approval seeking to one side. And bit by bit the 'real' me has emerged. A much softer me. Kinder. More patient. Less judgemental. Calmer. Wiser. More compassionate. More loving. . I've never thought of myself as creative but I've discovered a part of me that I never knew existed. A love of writing, cooking, baking, school projects and more. I've found my inner hippy and love yoga, aromatherapy, crystals, meditation and anything holistic. . I'm even seeing a life coach to help me to move on and start planning my own holistic business. No more corporate employment or accountancy for me, just plans for a small, self employed business working with people. . And the important things in my life now? My children and hubby. My true friends. Happiness. Good health. Security. Recovery. I've learned to appreciate the things that really matter. . So this is me. The REAL me. And no going back. Love me or hate me but I'm not changing for anyone ✨💖💫 . . . #beyourself #beyou #bereal

21 likes - 21 comments
So what am I doing to make things better?. Buckle up lads bc it's is time forrrrr.... SUPER™ recovery!! 🌻 returning to my old maintenance meal plan and adhering to it rigidly. NO EXCUSES. NOT trying to be intuitive for the next month or so until my weight and headspace are stable. 🌻as it's SUPER™ recovery we ain't doing things by halves. Sooo yes fear foods! yes social eating! No compensating! No measuring! No ED rules allowed! 🌻intensive self therapy! basically I'm going to pretend I'm back in day program, except at home. so back to my enormous purple folder (aka my recovery bible) it is! DBT, CBT, art therapy, yoga, body image stuff, the whole works! 🌻Expanding tf out of life! making goals for the future, adulting, actively being social 🌻GRATITUDE

If you need to get back on the recovery train, let's do this together! Let's get this bread 🍞(literally)

So what am I doing to make things better?. Buckle up lads bc it's is time forrrrr.... SUPER™ recovery!! 🌻 returning to my old maintenance meal plan and adhering to it rigidly. NO EXCUSES. NOT trying to be intuitive for the next month or so until my weight and headspace are stable. 🌻as it's SUPER™ recovery we ain't doing things by halves. Sooo yes fear foods! yes social eating! No compensating! No measuring! No ED rules allowed! 🌻intensive self therapy! basically I'm going to pretend I'm back in day program, except at home. so back to my enormous purple folder (aka my recovery bible) it is! DBT, CBT, art therapy, yoga, body image stuff, the whole works! 🌻Expanding tf out of life! making goals for the future, adulting, actively being social 🌻GRATITUDE If you need to get back on the recovery train, let's do this together! Let's get this bread 🍞(literally)

54 likes - 54 comments
CAPO Deadlift Only Prep and Off Season, Week 1: Bench 1 💪🏼
Video 1: set 2 of 4 x 8 x 37.5kg earthquake press 
Video 2: set 2 of 3 x 3 x 42.5kg 5 count pause 
Videos 3: set 2 of 3 x 10 x 37.5kg close grip 
Coach: @thedeangbc
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#bench

CAPO Deadlift Only Prep and Off Season, Week 1: Bench 1 💪🏼 Video 1: set 2 of 4 x 8 x 37.5kg earthquake press Video 2: set 2 of 3 x 3 x 42.5kg 5 count pause Videos 3: set 2 of 3 x 10 x 37.5kg close grip Coach: @thedeangbc #bench

31 likes - 31 comments
Feeling especially big this morning. Treating myself to sugar in my coffee. #anorexiarecovery #itsashitlife

Feeling especially big this morning. Treating myself to sugar in my coffee. #anorexiarecovery #itsashitlife

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VEGAN NIGHT. Absolutely brilliant first outting as ‘Pinksandi’. Been so excited and buzzing for last night for about a month. Again thank you to all who came down and ate the food me and @franafel prepared. All vegan of course. So much thanks toward everyone who sent me good luck messages, too! As I post a lot about mental health it would be odd to not note that last night was a milestone for me in that I worked over 10 hours in one day, flashback to last year I was working 10 hours in a week and spending every night in agony, on the settee, immobile, due to the repercussions of my anorexia. There’s light at the end of the tunnel though. SO HIP HIP HOORAY. #vegan #vegannight #hambletonian #teessidefoodie #franfel #chocolate #brownie #soya #icecream #darkchocolate #ChocolateAdventuresOfAlessandra #anorexiarecovery #recovery #mentalhealth

VEGAN NIGHT. Absolutely brilliant first outting as ‘Pinksandi’. Been so excited and buzzing for last night for about a month. Again thank you to all who came down and ate the food me and @franafel prepared. All vegan of course. So much thanks toward everyone who sent me good luck messages, too! As I post a lot about mental health it would be odd to not note that last night was a milestone for me in that I worked over 10 hours in one day, flashback to last year I was working 10 hours in a week and spending every night in agony, on the settee, immobile, due to the repercussions of my anorexia. There’s light at the end of the tunnel though. SO HIP HIP HOORAY. #vegan #vegannight #hambletonian #teessidefoodie #franfel #chocolate #brownie #soya #icecream #darkchocolate #ChocolateAdventuresOfAlessandra #anorexiarecovery #recovery #mentalhealth

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Oh hey there hump day! We’re already out the house and at the hospital as I have about 100 blood tests commencing this morning 🙄 Anyone else feeling this weather is the calm before the storm (aka nice and mild but the winters going to be bad!). ALSO, has anyone else made the transition back to porridge yet?! .
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#anorexiarecovery #postnataldepression #anxiety #anixetyrecovery #mentalhealth #bircher #porridge #flatlay #muesli #breakfast #breakfastflatlay #foodflatlay #winteriscoming #winter #autumn #london #hertfordshire #bloodtests

Oh hey there hump day! We’re already out the house and at the hospital as I have about 100 blood tests commencing this morning 🙄 Anyone else feeling this weather is the calm before the storm (aka nice and mild but the winters going to be bad!). ALSO, has anyone else made the transition back to porridge yet?! . . . . . . . . #anorexiarecovery #postnataldepression #anxiety #anixetyrecovery #mentalhealth #bircher #porridge #flatlay #muesli #breakfast #breakfastflatlay #foodflatlay #winteriscoming #winter #autumn #london #hertfordshire #bloodtests

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- Dessert -
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For dessert tonight I found my new favourite ice cream flavour! Its chocolate and mocha flavour!! I love legit anything mocha flavour so I'm very captivated (@aryaa.subedi) by this flavour!! So I had a scoop of that and a scoop of french vanilla icecream too! And for supper i had a calci strong milk and a few pieces of chocolate!😋🥛🍫🍦
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#anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #ortherexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #ortherexia #ana #recoverer #recovery #edrecovery #mcdonalds #anxiety #inpatient #bulimia #beyourself #loveyourself #fighter #strong #fearfood #food #dessert #pizza #burgers #icecream #healthyfood #cheese #chocolate #outpatient #outpatientrecovery

- Dessert - • For dessert tonight I found my new favourite ice cream flavour! Its chocolate and mocha flavour!! I love legit anything mocha flavour so I'm very captivated (@aryaa.subedi) by this flavour!! So I had a scoop of that and a scoop of french vanilla icecream too! And for supper i had a calci strong milk and a few pieces of chocolate!😋🥛🍫🍦 • #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #ortherexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #ortherexia #ana #recoverer #recovery #edrecovery #mcdonalds #anxiety #inpatient #bulimia #beyourself #loveyourself #fighter #strong #fearfood #food #dessert #pizza #burgers #icecream #healthyfood #cheese #chocolate #outpatient #outpatientrecovery

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Lunch and snack earlier + unpictured nut bar. —

Today started off tough. Guilt from all the food I consumed yesterday and having slightly extra than what I’m used to... but that’s OKAY. I listened to my body and there is no need to feel guilty or compensate for it at all!! Tw. I did begin my day with restricting breakfast but after lunch I realised how disordered that mind set was and is so the rest of the day I have been on a mission to make up for giving in to anorexia and letting her make my day hell basically. I MUST stick to minimums no matter how I feel or what I do! 
#edrecovery #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #addiction #recovery #freedom #food #hope #lunch #snack #thoughts

Lunch and snack earlier + unpictured nut bar. — Today started off tough. Guilt from all the food I consumed yesterday and having slightly extra than what I’m used to... but that’s OKAY. I listened to my body and there is no need to feel guilty or compensate for it at all!! Tw. I did begin my day with restricting breakfast but after lunch I realised how disordered that mind set was and is so the rest of the day I have been on a mission to make up for giving in to anorexia and letting her make my day hell basically. I MUST stick to minimums no matter how I feel or what I do! #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #addiction #recovery #freedom #food #hope #lunch #snack #thoughts

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Me when I see ANYTHING with peanut butter 🙃😂💁🏻‍♀️

Me when I see ANYTHING with peanut butter 🙃😂💁🏻‍♀️

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I’ve been talking to a lot of people recently about my journey and it’s really made me reflect on how far I’ve come. I wouldn’t say I’m fully recovered yet but i’m well on my way ❤️ when I look at the 2 photos together, I don’t look at the weight, what I do see is the light I have in my eyes now was no where to be seen a few years ago. I’m now on a journey to be the healthiest and happiest me and I’m loving it 😍 •
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #progress #progression #recovery #health #photooftheday #ig_london #beateatingdisorders #prorecovery #journey #fitness #recoverforhappiness #wellbeing #mentalhealth #positivity #insta #instadaily

I’ve been talking to a lot of people recently about my journey and it’s really made me reflect on how far I’ve come. I wouldn’t say I’m fully recovered yet but i’m well on my way ❤️ when I look at the 2 photos together, I don’t look at the weight, what I do see is the light I have in my eyes now was no where to be seen a few years ago. I’m now on a journey to be the healthiest and happiest me and I’m loving it 😍 • • • • • #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #progress #progression #recovery #health #photooftheday #ig_london #beateatingdisorders #prorecovery #journey #fitness #recoverforhappiness #wellbeing #mentalhealth #positivity #insta #instadaily

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Sup my dudes, I was tagged by @_realrecovery (thankya lovely 💕) to do 20 facts n stuff about me.
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1. Dogs are my favorite animal 🐶
2. I’m pansexual (attracted to people regardless of sex/gender identity) 🏳️‍🌈
3. I prefer summer over winter ☀️
4. I’m vegetarian 🌱
5. I LOVE  horror movies 🎥
6. I don’t drink (much)/do drugs or any of that 🙅🏼‍♀️
7. Small spaces are my worst fear 😬
8. My favorite TV show is Brooklyn Nine-Nine (my boyfriend introduced me to it) 👮🏽‍♂️
9. I’m pretty small (5’3 I think) 🤷🏼‍♀️
10. I’m a homebody. I’d rather stay at home watching a movie then go out partying 😌
11. I’m aiming to go to university next year to study animal health/sciences 🐮🐴
12. I’m not a ‘popular’ person. I was never ‘cool’ in high school and honestly idgaf anyway 😎
13. I’m really interested in motivational speaking (even though I hate social interaction, go figure 😂)
14. I have a steady Job 💵
15. I’m a people pleaser. I do things just to make others happy even if I’m not. It’s a problem I know 😅
16. My favorite type of music is punk-rock/alternative 🎶
17. I’m not a girly girl. I grew up on a farm and don’t mind getting a bit dirty 🚜
18. My favorite food is icecream 🍦
19. I have 5 tattoos and plan on many more 👏🏻
20. Aaaannndddd I believe in ghosts 👻
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There yas go ☺️ I’m not terribly interesting sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sup my dudes, I was tagged by @_realrecovery (thankya lovely 💕) to do 20 facts n stuff about me. - 1. Dogs are my favorite animal 🐶 2. I’m pansexual (attracted to people regardless of sex/gender identity) 🏳️‍🌈 3. I prefer summer over winter ☀️ 4. I’m vegetarian 🌱 5. I LOVE horror movies 🎥 6. I don’t drink (much)/do drugs or any of that 🙅🏼‍♀️ 7. Small spaces are my worst fear 😬 8. My favorite TV show is Brooklyn Nine-Nine (my boyfriend introduced me to it) 👮🏽‍♂️ 9. I’m pretty small (5’3 I think) 🤷🏼‍♀️ 10. I’m a homebody. I’d rather stay at home watching a movie then go out partying 😌 11. I’m aiming to go to university next year to study animal health/sciences 🐮🐴 12. I’m not a ‘popular’ person. I was never ‘cool’ in high school and honestly idgaf anyway 😎 13. I’m really interested in motivational speaking (even though I hate social interaction, go figure 😂) 14. I have a steady Job 💵 15. I’m a people pleaser. I do things just to make others happy even if I’m not. It’s a problem I know 😅 16. My favorite type of music is punk-rock/alternative 🎶 17. I’m not a girly girl. I grew up on a farm and don’t mind getting a bit dirty 🚜 18. My favorite food is icecream 🍦 19. I have 5 tattoos and plan on many more 👏🏻 20. Aaaannndddd I believe in ghosts 👻 - There yas go ☺️ I’m not terribly interesting sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Good morning🌙 Breakfast is a coffee ☕️ On our way to college now. Thankfully feel a bit brighter this morning which is a relief🤦🏼‍♀️ Got a half day today which I’m so excited for and a day off tomorrow🙌🏼 Hope you all enjoy your day xx  #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #ed #recovery #eatittobeatit #anxiety #bpd #depression #selfcare #courage #mentalhealth #edrecovery #strongnotskinny #edfighter #anorexiafighter #foodie #foodisfuel #eatingdisorderrecovery #revoveryisworthit #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #edwarrier #foodisfuel #fearfood #workout #health #fitness #exercise

Good morning🌙 Breakfast is a coffee ☕️ On our way to college now. Thankfully feel a bit brighter this morning which is a relief🤦🏼‍♀️ Got a half day today which I’m so excited for and a day off tomorrow🙌🏼 Hope you all enjoy your day xx #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #ed #recovery #eatittobeatit #anxiety #bpd #depression #selfcare #courage #mentalhealth #edrecovery #strongnotskinny #edfighter #anorexiafighter #foodie #foodisfuel #eatingdisorderrecovery #revoveryisworthit #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #edwarrier #foodisfuel #fearfood #workout #health #fitness #exercise

23 likes - 23 comments
Christmas is just around the corner so why not get in the festive spirit?🎄 part 2 of breakfast was 2 slices of toast topped with half Nutella with half blackcurrant jam🍇 and the other slice half strawberry 🍓 jam with half crunchie spread and a banana 🍌 #edrecovery#anorexiarecovery#foodphotography#foodstagram#foodpics#foodporn#foodisfuel#foodblogger#instafood#foodie#strongnotskinny#realrecovery#like4like#follow4follow

Christmas is just around the corner so why not get in the festive spirit?🎄 part 2 of breakfast was 2 slices of toast topped with half Nutella with half blackcurrant jam🍇 and the other slice half strawberry 🍓 jam with half crunchie spread and a banana 🍌 #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #foodphotography #foodstagram #foodpics #foodporn #foodisfuel #foodblogger #instafood #foodie #strongnotskinny #realrecovery #like4like #follow4follow

68 likes - 68 comments
Triset Dieset 😌🔥
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This honestly had my legs screaming!! (Dey actually did scream I ain't lying)😝
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⏺️Curtseys with squats
⏺️Box jumps ⏺️Wide to ski squats .
Perform these exercises back to back with little break in between 10-15 reps REPEAT x4
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This was part of today's circuit but it's  a PERFECT finisher to out at the end of your leg or full body sessions💪😁
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Enjoy!!🤙
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#triset #circuittraining #hiitworkout #hiittraining #workhard #workoutanywhere #workout #muscletoning #muscle #weighttraining #trainhard #training #gymbunny #gymshark #gymmotivation #womenwholift #womensfitness #womenshealth #menshealth #mensfitness #strengthtraining #strength #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #prorecovery #bodytransformation #legworkout #physique #exercisetips

Triset Dieset 😌🔥 . This honestly had my legs screaming!! (Dey actually did scream I ain't lying)😝 . ⏺️Curtseys with squats ⏺️Box jumps ⏺️Wide to ski squats . Perform these exercises back to back with little break in between 10-15 reps REPEAT x4 . This was part of today's circuit but it's a PERFECT finisher to out at the end of your leg or full body sessions💪😁 . Enjoy!!🤙 . . #triset #circuittraining #hiitworkout #hiittraining #workhard #workoutanywhere #workout #muscletoning #muscle #weighttraining #trainhard #training #gymbunny #gymshark #gymmotivation #womenwholift #womensfitness #womenshealth #menshealth #mensfitness #strengthtraining #strength #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #prorecovery #bodytransformation #legworkout #physique #exercisetips

16 likes - 16 comments
Not gonna lie. It is hard. Probably the hardest thing you will ever need to do. It will take time. You will cry, you will reach perhaps even your breaking point. You will fall, and you will rise back up. You will fight, you will fight hard against the thoughts, against what every inch of your body tells you to do. But one day, you will be able to just spontaneously order a burger, take a bite, smile, and keep eating while talking with your friends. .
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Yesterday it was such a busy day. Woke up early did some reading, went to uni, in between lectures and seminars had lunch with my mum. Ordered a latte. Went to a musical with my mum. Had a burger and 2 fries, yes two. Do I feel guilty yes, super super guilty. But it’s ok. I slept it off. Was a good day and I wouldn’t let this destroy my mood.
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#ana#anarecovery#anawarrior#anorexia#anorexiarecovery#ed#edrecovery#edwarrior#fuckana#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealth#bpd#bpdrecovery#eupd#anxiety#moodswings#ptsd#cptsd#iamnot1in5#eatittobeatit#anorexiarecovery#eatingdisorder#antianaclub#ocd#anxiety#prorecovery#edstruggles#edproblems

Not gonna lie. It is hard. Probably the hardest thing you will ever need to do. It will take time. You will cry, you will reach perhaps even your breaking point. You will fall, and you will rise back up. You will fight, you will fight hard against the thoughts, against what every inch of your body tells you to do. But one day, you will be able to just spontaneously order a burger, take a bite, smile, and keep eating while talking with your friends. . . . . Yesterday it was such a busy day. Woke up early did some reading, went to uni, in between lectures and seminars had lunch with my mum. Ordered a latte. Went to a musical with my mum. Had a burger and 2 fries, yes two. Do I feel guilty yes, super super guilty. But it’s ok. I slept it off. Was a good day and I wouldn’t let this destroy my mood. . . . #ana #anarecovery #anawarrior #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #ed #edrecovery #edwarrior #fuckana #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #bpd #bpdrecovery #eupd #anxiety #moodswings #ptsd #cptsd #iamnot1in5 #eatittobeatit #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #antianaclub #ocd #anxiety #prorecovery #edstruggles #edproblems

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I had a carrot cake nakd bar the other day and absolutely loved it, but because they don’t sell them here I decided to make my own. They turned out amazing, if not even better😏 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🥕Here are the dets:
•150g dates
•50g raisins
•60g walnuts
•25g almonds
•15g cashews
•70g oats
•20g shredded carrots
•1tsp vanilla paste
•cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, cloves ➡️Blend all ingredients in a food processor and form little balls😋

I had a carrot cake nakd bar the other day and absolutely loved it, but because they don’t sell them here I decided to make my own. They turned out amazing, if not even better😏 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🥕Here are the dets: •150g dates •50g raisins •60g walnuts •25g almonds •15g cashews •70g oats •20g shredded carrots •1tsp vanilla paste •cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, cloves ➡️Blend all ingredients in a food processor and form little balls😋

18 likes - 18 comments
You know my name. Not my story🤷🏼‍♀️
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#staystrong #life #struggles #depression #anxiety #help #depressionrecovery #anorexiarecovery #positive

You know my name. Not my story🤷🏼‍♀️ • • • • #staystrong #life #struggles #depression #anxiety #help #depressionrecovery #anorexiarecovery #positive

9 likes - 9 comments
#breakfast were #oats with banana #chocolate and maple syrup and it was heavenly 😍😍 SO ya girl got her period this morning. It’s a bit of a TMI but oh well, I forgot how shitty periods make me feel but yeah. 
I have mixed feelings about it given the fact I still don’t have a healthy BMI, but my head tells me now everything is alright and I’m healthy again😓 GOTTA REMEMBER THAT IS NOT TRUE. I still feel tired, sick and I don’t have a good relationship with food.

ANA CAN FUCK OFF I AM GOING TO EAT UNTIL I REACH MY GOALS💪🏻 Currently I’m on my way to therapy and I hope it helps me to make things a little bit easier for the next few days and helps me clear my mind😌😉 Have a splendid morning loves♥️

#breakfast were #oats with banana #chocolate and maple syrup and it was heavenly 😍😍 SO ya girl got her period this morning. It’s a bit of a TMI but oh well, I forgot how shitty periods make me feel but yeah. I have mixed feelings about it given the fact I still don’t have a healthy BMI, but my head tells me now everything is alright and I’m healthy again😓 GOTTA REMEMBER THAT IS NOT TRUE. I still feel tired, sick and I don’t have a good relationship with food. ANA CAN FUCK OFF I AM GOING TO EAT UNTIL I REACH MY GOALS💪🏻 Currently I’m on my way to therapy and I hope it helps me to make things a little bit easier for the next few days and helps me clear my mind😌😉 Have a splendid morning loves♥️

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Очнись❗️ Ты прекрасна 😌
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Листай карусель👉🏻
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Всю жизнь мы стремимся к идеалу💗 Его нет❗️ То что идеально для тебя - отвратительно для других. .
Нет идеальных людей, машины или дома 🏡 Это все субъективно 😊 Когда я говорю

Очнись❗️ Ты прекрасна 😌 . Листай карусель👉🏻 . Всю жизнь мы стремимся к идеалу💗 Его нет❗️ То что идеально для тебя - отвратительно для других. . Нет идеальных людей, машины или дома 🏡 Это все субъективно 😊 Когда я говорю "Будь собой. Слушай себя" то говорю это не просто так. . В школе меня чмырили из-за веса, веснушек на лице, рыжего цвета волос. А теперь? А теперь я горжусь своим природным цветом волос, своей "солнечной" кожей, голосом, своими странностями😊 Я, такая же как и ты, и не могу быть приятна всем. . ......Я не хамелеон 😅 . .......Я живая❗️........ . Скинув вес до экстремально низкого веса - жизнь не улучшилась ❗️ Все стало только хуже...я считала своей уникальностью - анорексичную худобу💀 Считала что это гуд, хотя сама уже еле поднималась по лестнице в универе😓 Я рыдала когда меня пытался накормить муж чем-то, кроме помидор 🍅 Моя мама слышала вопросы "Полина чем-то болеет? Ее не кормят? "😑 Я была на столько замкнута...постоянно разглядывала себя в зеркале, взвешивалась по 100 раз в день...в периоды срывов вообще не выходила из дома, так как +1 кг казался концом света...и постоянные мысли о суициде 💀 Но все же мечтала умереть во сне практически каждый день😱 . А что теперь❓ Я перестала бояться себя. Я стала слышать людей, слышать свою голову и адекватно смотреть в зеркало😊 Я не зацикливаюсь на "недочетах" а работаю над ними❗️Я не виню себя за шоколадку, а наслаждаюсь ей🍫 Я могу постоять за себя и больше не прячусь от трудностей 💪🏻 Я перебарываю свои комплексы и спустя время их уже нет🙂 Я знаю на сколько тяжело полюбить себя и поэтому выбрала работу с людьми с похожими проблемами ☝🏻️ Я учу их любить и слышать себя. Заниматься не из-за ненависти к зеркалу, а из любви к себе - ведь спорт это здоровье💊 А здоровье - это красота 😍 . Люби себя❗️Люби и верь в себя, слышишь 🌸 . Живи💐 Ведь жизнь так прекрасна и многогранна 💗#пп #правильноепитание #любисебя #анорексия #рпп #рекавери #recavery #восстановление #допосле #жизньпрекрасна #спорт #фитнес #персональныйтренер #мояистория #sportgirl #fitness #mylife #autumn #diet #dietfood #anorexiarecovery #anorexìa #rpp #trx #худеемправильно #ип #интуитивноепитание #polina_diet_осебе

21 likes - 21 comments
Here’s a pic of my lunch yesterday.... day off today and I’m more than buzzin to just do nothing and be a couch potato 🥔 
Have a lush Wednesday guys 💗

Here’s a pic of my lunch yesterday.... day off today and I’m more than buzzin to just do nothing and be a couch potato 🥔 Have a lush Wednesday guys 💗

43 likes - 43 comments
Good morning. Breakfast was 100g of berry granola with 50ml of almond milk, dried prunes and apricots, 125g of frozen red grapes, a bag of strawberry yoghurt coated pieces, 200g of mixed semi frozen vanilla& strawberry onken yoghurt, 4 almonds and 3 walnuts 🥜 and a Nescafé gold salted caramel mocha ☕️#edrecovery#anorexiarecovery#foodphotography#foodstagram#foodpics#foodporn#foodisfuel#foodblogger#instafood#foodie#strongnotskinny#realrecovery#like4like#follow4follow

Good morning. Breakfast was 100g of berry granola with 50ml of almond milk, dried prunes and apricots, 125g of frozen red grapes, a bag of strawberry yoghurt coated pieces, 200g of mixed semi frozen vanilla& strawberry onken yoghurt, 4 almonds and 3 walnuts 🥜 and a Nescafé gold salted caramel mocha ☕️#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #foodphotography #foodstagram #foodpics #foodporn #foodisfuel #foodblogger #instafood #foodie #strongnotskinny #realrecovery #like4like #follow4follow

63 likes - 63 comments
Yesterday as dessert after dinner I ate this black and white chocolate bonbon. It was huge and so delicious!! I wanna buy the other flavors! 😍
I was looking to this bonbon for two days at the market and yesterday I finally did it. I am really proud of myself. Big step. 😊💕
ㅤㅤ
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecoverymeal #anorexiawarrior #fuckanorexia #recoverywin #recoverywarrior #ed #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #eatittobeatit #recoveryisworthit #beatana #recoveryispossible #anorexiafight

Yesterday as dessert after dinner I ate this black and white chocolate bonbon. It was huge and so delicious!! I wanna buy the other flavors! 😍 I was looking to this bonbon for two days at the market and yesterday I finally did it. I am really proud of myself. Big step. 😊💕 ㅤㅤ #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecoverymeal #anorexiawarrior #fuckanorexia #recoverywin #recoverywarrior #ed #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #eatittobeatit #recoveryisworthit #beatana #recoveryispossible #anorexiafight

14 likes - 14 comments
LUCHANDO CONTRA LA DISCRIMINACION DE PERSONAS CON TCA.

Un TCA es trastorno de la conducta alimentaria. Bien anorexia, bien bulimia, bien trastorno por atracón. 
A menudo, nos encontramos con que se identifica con un problema de físico y peso, cuando no es así. Tiene orígenes mucho mas profundos en nuestra psicología. Es por ello un problema difícil de solucionar, pues nunca se trata el plano psico, dando lugar a un deterioro progrey del físico, donde la persona afectada se ve incapaz de saber gestionar las necesidades de su cuerpo. 
Esto es un breve resumen bastante superficial, espero algún día poder hablar de manera profunda.

#anorexia  #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #recovery #tca #atracon

LUCHANDO CONTRA LA DISCRIMINACION DE PERSONAS CON TCA. Un TCA es trastorno de la conducta alimentaria. Bien anorexia, bien bulimia, bien trastorno por atracón. A menudo, nos encontramos con que se identifica con un problema de físico y peso, cuando no es así. Tiene orígenes mucho mas profundos en nuestra psicología. Es por ello un problema difícil de solucionar, pues nunca se trata el plano psico, dando lugar a un deterioro progrey del físico, donde la persona afectada se ve incapaz de saber gestionar las necesidades de su cuerpo. Esto es un breve resumen bastante superficial, espero algún día poder hablar de manera profunda. #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #recovery #tca #atracon

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Buongiorno!
Oggi colazione con nonno!!
Nota la differenza 😅😅😅😂😂😂
Oggi Porridge di nuovo
125 ml di latte 🥛
20 gr di fiocchi d'avena 🥣
5 gr di cacao amaro 🍫
Faccio colazione così perché ieri veramente non ho mangiato niente!!! Totale della mia giornata:
Porridge a colazione 🥣,
una mela a pranzo 🍎,
una carota a cena 🥕,
E tanto alcol!!
Ma la mia bilancia anche stamattina misura:
63,2 kg 💪💪💪💪💪
Ottimo!!!
Buona giornata 🍀🍀🍀
.
#memories #bulimia #anoressia #bulimiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #disorder #dca #borderline #recovery #monster #malinconia #depression #me #eatdisorder #dipendent #fooddipendent #drawing #draw #die #schiavitù #selfharm #cut #autolesioismo #breakfast #porridge #cacao #nescafe

Buongiorno! Oggi colazione con nonno!! Nota la differenza 😅😅😅😂😂😂 Oggi Porridge di nuovo 125 ml di latte 🥛 20 gr di fiocchi d'avena 🥣 5 gr di cacao amaro 🍫 Faccio colazione così perché ieri veramente non ho mangiato niente!!! Totale della mia giornata: Porridge a colazione 🥣, una mela a pranzo 🍎, una carota a cena 🥕, E tanto alcol!! Ma la mia bilancia anche stamattina misura: 63,2 kg 💪💪💪💪💪 Ottimo!!! Buona giornata 🍀🍀🍀 . #memories #bulimia #anoressia #bulimiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #disorder #dca #borderline #recovery #monster #malinconia #depression #me #eatdisorder #dipendent #fooddipendent #drawing #draw #die #schiavitù #selfharm #cut #autolesioismo #breakfast #porridge #cacao #nescafe

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| I samarbete med @testagram_se | 
Oktoberboxen bjöd på mer än en goding, men denna produkt var helt klart min favorit. ”Berry rye crackers” från @fazersverige kompisar, ni borde verkligen testa dessa!! Jag tycker att de gör sig bäst toppade med Bregott, Philadelphia, avokado, sesamfrön, chiliflakes och örtsalt. Den kombo är SÅ GOD!🌱🥑🌶 #testagram #oktoberbox

| I samarbete med @testagram_se | Oktoberboxen bjöd på mer än en goding, men denna produkt var helt klart min favorit. ”Berry rye crackers” från @fazersverige kompisar, ni borde verkligen testa dessa!! Jag tycker att de gör sig bäst toppade med Bregott, Philadelphia, avokado, sesamfrön, chiliflakes och örtsalt. Den kombo är SÅ GOD!🌱🥑🌶 #testagram #oktoberbox

33 likes - 33 comments
LUCHANDO CONTRA LA DISCRIMINACION DE PERSONAS CON TCA.

Un TCA es trastorno de la conducta alimentaria. Bien anorexia, bien bulimia, bien trastorno por atracón. 
A menudo, nos encontramos con que se identifica con un problema de físico y peso, cuando no es así. Tiene orígenes mucho mas profundos en nuestra psicología. Es por ello un problema difícil de solucionar, pues nunca se trata el plano psico, dando lugar a un deterioro progrey del físico, donde la persona afectada se ve incapaz de saber gestionar las necesidades de su cuerpo. 
Esto es un breve resumen bastante superficial, espero algún día poder hablar de manera profunda.

#anorexia  #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #recovery #tca #atracon

LUCHANDO CONTRA LA DISCRIMINACION DE PERSONAS CON TCA. Un TCA es trastorno de la conducta alimentaria. Bien anorexia, bien bulimia, bien trastorno por atracón. A menudo, nos encontramos con que se identifica con un problema de físico y peso, cuando no es así. Tiene orígenes mucho mas profundos en nuestra psicología. Es por ello un problema difícil de solucionar, pues nunca se trata el plano psico, dando lugar a un deterioro progrey del físico, donde la persona afectada se ve incapaz de saber gestionar las necesidades de su cuerpo. Esto es un breve resumen bastante superficial, espero algún día poder hablar de manera profunda. #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #recovery #tca #atracon

36 likes - 36 comments
Please sign this crucial @hopevirgo1 petition. We must force change in diagnosis and support to focus on perceptions and distress rather than artificial cut-off based on weight and thinness 
https://tinyurl.com/ybatbxvv

#eatingdisordersupport #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #wednesdaywisdom

Please sign this crucial @hopevirgo1 petition. We must force change in diagnosis and support to focus on perceptions and distress rather than artificial cut-off based on weight and thinness https://tinyurl.com/ybatbxvv #eatingdisordersupport #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #wednesdaywisdom

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Pretty good snack today to make up for some... bad earlier decisions. I’ve got a cherry ripe (aka the best chocolate Australia has to offer 😏), original Pringles, strawbs and a fruit English muffin later toasted smothered in butter. I hope y’all had more productive days than me. 
#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #foodie #Bipolar #edwarrior #recovery #calories #eatittobeatit #recovery #mindfuleating #eats #healthy #vegetarian #edfighter #edfam #anawho #anafighter #edrecoveryarmy #eatittobeatit #foodinstagram #foodpic #foodporn #cherryripe #snack #cheatmeal #muffin #aussie

Pretty good snack today to make up for some... bad earlier decisions. I’ve got a cherry ripe (aka the best chocolate Australia has to offer 😏), original Pringles, strawbs and a fruit English muffin later toasted smothered in butter. I hope y’all had more productive days than me. #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #foodie #Bipolar #edwarrior #recovery #calories #eatittobeatit #recovery #mindfuleating #eats #healthy #vegetarian #edfighter #edfam #anawho #anafighter #edrecoveryarmy #eatittobeatit #foodinstagram #foodpic #foodporn #cherryripe #snack #cheatmeal #muffin #aussie

45 likes - 45 comments
Pictures courtesy of @amazing_alfred

It was amazing... I screamed my heart out with every song. I had never been to a TOP concert before, so maybe they do this every time? But my favorite thing about this tour is that #twentyonepilots played songs from multiple albums, not just the latest one. During their last tour, I was so sad because I thought that I would never get the chance to hear in person the song that saved my life - Car Radio. It perfectly explained everything I felt three years ago, my good friend having taken her life, and me having become massively suicidal. I felt like no one understood what I was going through, like no one cared... and really, no one did. But the point is, last Tuesday, I heard it in person. I had always told myself that if I ever heard them sing it I would cry my eyes out. Yet I was way too happy... I felt oddly at peace. And I screamed my lungs out, following their voices word for word.

Now, I'm not so at peace... and this past week has been hard. Everyday feels like a breakdown waiting to happen. I don't really feel like talking to anyone, so I'm sorry if I don't reply to messages. I'm just so tired... and I want to get to the rewarding part of life.. it would be so much easier if I could skip this bullcrap.

On a happier note, this quote is very calming.. I'm not sure why. And I've started talking to my ex 'girlfriend' again after 3 years... We're writing a story together.
. 
#mentalhealth #depressionquotes #deppression  #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #osfedrecovery #osfed #ednosrecovery #ednos #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeating #selfharm #suicidal  #skeletonclique #joshdun #tylerjoseph #smolbean #spookyjim #tyjo #passion

Pictures courtesy of @amazing_alfred It was amazing... I screamed my heart out with every song. I had never been to a TOP concert before, so maybe they do this every time? But my favorite thing about this tour is that #twentyonepilots played songs from multiple albums, not just the latest one. During their last tour, I was so sad because I thought that I would never get the chance to hear in person the song that saved my life - Car Radio. It perfectly explained everything I felt three years ago, my good friend having taken her life, and me having become massively suicidal. I felt like no one understood what I was going through, like no one cared... and really, no one did. But the point is, last Tuesday, I heard it in person. I had always told myself that if I ever heard them sing it I would cry my eyes out. Yet I was way too happy... I felt oddly at peace. And I screamed my lungs out, following their voices word for word. Now, I'm not so at peace... and this past week has been hard. Everyday feels like a breakdown waiting to happen. I don't really feel like talking to anyone, so I'm sorry if I don't reply to messages. I'm just so tired... and I want to get to the rewarding part of life.. it would be so much easier if I could skip this bullcrap. On a happier note, this quote is very calming.. I'm not sure why. And I've started talking to my ex 'girlfriend' again after 3 years... We're writing a story together. . #mentalhealth #depressionquotes #deppression #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #osfedrecovery #osfed #ednosrecovery #ednos #bingeeatingrecovery #bingeeating #selfharm #suicidal #skeletonclique #joshdun #tylerjoseph #smolbean #spookyjim #tyjo #passion

10 likes - 10 comments
Die #Waage und die Wunden auf einem Bild :).
Ich habe richtig gute und richtig schlechte Nachrichten: Ich habe massiv #Gewicht verloren (über 3kg in einer Woche), was mein Gefühl bestätigt: Die Muskeln gehen.
Aber ich hab das Ja für die Tagesklinik ab einem BMI von 14.5!!
.
#anorexiarecovery #essstörung #magersucht #gesundwerden #recovery #antiana #antianaclub #leben #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #fightagainstana #keeponfighting #fight #motivation

Die #Waage und die Wunden auf einem Bild :). Ich habe richtig gute und richtig schlechte Nachrichten: Ich habe massiv #Gewicht verloren (über 3kg in einer Woche), was mein Gefühl bestätigt: Die Muskeln gehen. Aber ich hab das Ja für die Tagesklinik ab einem BMI von 14.5!! . #anorexiarecovery #essstörung #magersucht #gesundwerden #recovery #antiana #antianaclub #leben #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #fightagainstana #keeponfighting #fight #motivation

8 likes - 8 comments
Perception and interpretation play a massive part in how we FEEL about the numbers on the scale. x kg is JUST A NUMBER which has no connotations/feelings/meanings linked to it. It’s RELATIVE. It doesn’t mean anything. Yet it has SUCH power to dominate our emotions and dictate how we see ourselves... and how our day goes. Have you ever realised that these feeling all come from within YOU, not the number and not from people around you. If you lost and weighed x Kg, chances are you would feel better than if you gained and weighed x Kg... yet it’s the SAME number. It is only what you have associated to the number that has the power to effect you. And guess what, that means that the ability to CHANGE how you feel about it is within YOUR hands. 
#eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfamily #adutswithed #edrecoverycommunity #edrecoveryjourney #anarecovery #ditchthediet #effyourbodystandards #anorexiarecovery #healthateverysize #antidiet #selflove #ednosrecovery #healthymindhealthybody #ednoswarrior #haes #youareenough #effyourbeautystandards #fighted #selfesteem #loveyourbody #recovery #mentalhealth #bopo #bodyconfidence #loveyourself #prorecovery #selfconfidence #edfree

Perception and interpretation play a massive part in how we FEEL about the numbers on the scale. x kg is JUST A NUMBER which has no connotations/feelings/meanings linked to it. It’s RELATIVE. It doesn’t mean anything. Yet it has SUCH power to dominate our emotions and dictate how we see ourselves... and how our day goes. Have you ever realised that these feeling all come from within YOU, not the number and not from people around you. If you lost and weighed x Kg, chances are you would feel better than if you gained and weighed x Kg... yet it’s the SAME number. It is only what you have associated to the number that has the power to effect you. And guess what, that means that the ability to CHANGE how you feel about it is within YOUR hands. #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfamily #adutswithed #edrecoverycommunity #edrecoveryjourney #anarecovery #ditchthediet #effyourbodystandards #anorexiarecovery #healthateverysize #antidiet #selflove #ednosrecovery #healthymindhealthybody #ednoswarrior #haes #youareenough #effyourbeautystandards #fighted #selfesteem #loveyourbody #recovery #mentalhealth #bopo #bodyconfidence #loveyourself #prorecovery #selfconfidence #edfree

38 likes - 38 comments
Buongiorno tesori❤️. Sono riuscita a fare la colazione seguendo il piano senza restringere, ieri pensavo che non ce l'avrei fatta,invece stamattina mi sono preparata il porridge e l'ho fatto in un modo spettacolare😍, lo dovete assolutamente provare!! L'ho preparato con budino di soia alla vaniglia, banana🍌 e noci.
In questi giorni sto avendo molte vittorie,ma anche se non sto andando sull'app delle calorie, il mio cervello fa i calcoli in automatico... e mi piacerebbe smettere. Così come mi piacerebbe smettere di fare gli schemi... in questi giorni voglio lavorare su questa cosa😊. Colazione con: -Porridge con budino di soia alla vaniglia, banana e noci

Good morning treasures❤️. I managed to have breakfast following the plan without restricting, yesterday I thought I couldn't make it, but this morning I prepared the porridge and I did it in a spectacular way😍, you absolutely have to try it !! I made it with vanilla soy pudding, banana🍌 and walnuts.

These days I'm having many victories, but even if I'm not going on the app of calories, my brain does the calculations automatically ... and I'd like to stop. Just as I would like to stop doing patterns ... these days I want to work on this thing😊. Breakfast with: -Porridge with vanilla soy pudding, banana and walnuts

#anoressiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #dca #disturbialimentari #eatingdisorders

Buongiorno tesori❤️. Sono riuscita a fare la colazione seguendo il piano senza restringere, ieri pensavo che non ce l'avrei fatta,invece stamattina mi sono preparata il porridge e l'ho fatto in un modo spettacolare😍, lo dovete assolutamente provare!! L'ho preparato con budino di soia alla vaniglia, banana🍌 e noci. In questi giorni sto avendo molte vittorie,ma anche se non sto andando sull'app delle calorie, il mio cervello fa i calcoli in automatico... e mi piacerebbe smettere. Così come mi piacerebbe smettere di fare gli schemi... in questi giorni voglio lavorare su questa cosa😊. Colazione con: -Porridge con budino di soia alla vaniglia, banana e noci Good morning treasures❤️. I managed to have breakfast following the plan without restricting, yesterday I thought I couldn't make it, but this morning I prepared the porridge and I did it in a spectacular way😍, you absolutely have to try it !! I made it with vanilla soy pudding, banana🍌 and walnuts. These days I'm having many victories, but even if I'm not going on the app of calories, my brain does the calculations automatically ... and I'd like to stop. Just as I would like to stop doing patterns ... these days I want to work on this thing😊. Breakfast with: -Porridge with vanilla soy pudding, banana and walnuts #anoressiarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #dca #disturbialimentari #eatingdisorders

23 likes - 23 comments
Hey it's Wednesday ☺️.
.
Hello les crevettes 😊 ! Mercredi matin calme ici et c'est appréciable 🙂. Pas d'entraînement, pas de marche

Hey it's Wednesday ☺️. . Hello les crevettes 😊 ! Mercredi matin calme ici et c'est appréciable 🙂. Pas d'entraînement, pas de marche "secrétariat" pour les réseaux et pas de marché (ouais il faut emmener Titine au garage 😣🚗). Du coup, un café ☕, mon 💻, mes cours de diet tranquillou au lit.  Et ça fait du bien 😏. Même si j'adore avoir une vie bien remplie, parfois j'aimerais la mettre sur pause juste pour respirer un peu. Ça vous le fait aussi ? Quel programme pour vous aujourd'hui ? Bonne journée les crevettes 💋. . #fit #fitness #fitgirl #fitnessgirl #fitfrenchies #teamshape #teamfitcats #instafitness #fitfam #musculation #workout #girl #diet #healthy #active #bodypositive #flexibledieting #fitnessmotivation #motivation #anorexiarecovery #training #cleaneating #lifestyle #fitnesslifestyle #strong #getfit #gym #mangersain #bodybuilding #shape

104 likes - 104 comments
⠀
Изначально планировала фотографировать только несколько продуктов сразу (некая композиция), но сейчас решила добавить и фудпорны. Почему бы и нет?
⠀
Я долго искала свой стиль ведения профиля, но так и не нашла, поэтому буду делать смешанное, потом всё изменю, скорее всего.
⠀
Следующий пост будет про мои веганские обеды и почему я начала более менее сбалансированно кушать именно днём.
А пока что я тухну в школе :( Кстати, эта фотография мне немного нравится в отличие от остальных, сделанных вчера.
⠀ ⠀
Всем удачного дня 🍒

⠀ Изначально планировала фотографировать только несколько продуктов сразу (некая композиция), но сейчас решила добавить и фудпорны. Почему бы и нет? ⠀ Я долго искала свой стиль ведения профиля, но так и не нашла, поэтому буду делать смешанное, потом всё изменю, скорее всего. ⠀ Следующий пост будет про мои веганские обеды и почему я начала более менее сбалансированно кушать именно днём. А пока что я тухну в школе :( Кстати, эта фотография мне немного нравится в отличие от остальных, сделанных вчера. ⠀ ⠀ Всем удачного дня 🍒

42 likes - 42 comments

12 likes - 12 comments