anarecovery #anarecovery Instagram Hashtag

Та-дам!!!
Как и обещала, #nightsnack весьма забавный)))
Просто захотела так попробовать. И белок, и вкусно, и сладко, и вообще это было здорово!😸 Но после мне ещё конфет захотелось 😶. Гехе)))
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#nightsnack :
▪творог
▪3 разных пудинга (карамельный, ванильный, шоколадный)🍮🍮🍮🍫
▪отрубей (много больше)
▪цикорий ☕
▪конфеты: Кит-Кат, Чио Рио, чудо×2🍬🍬🍬🍬
🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️
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#анорексия #анорексиядневник #анорексиявосстановление #анорексиярекавери #восстановление #нервнаяанорекия #рекавери  #еда #яем #anorexic #anabitch #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #recovery #recoverywin #rpp #рпп #fuckanorexia #fuckana #fooddiary

Та-дам!!! Как и обещала, #nightsnack весьма забавный))) Просто захотела так попробовать. И белок, и вкусно, и сладко, и вообще это было здорово!😸 Но после мне ещё конфет захотелось 😶. Гехе))) ______________ #nightsnack : ▪творог ▪3 разных пудинга (карамельный, ванильный, шоколадный)🍮🍮🍮🍫 ▪отрубей (много больше) ▪цикорий ☕ ▪конфеты: Кит-Кат, Чио Рио, чудо×2🍬🍬🍬🍬 🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️🔹️ ° ° ° #анорексия #анорексиядневник #анорексиявосстановление #анорексиярекавери #восстановление #нервнаяанорекия #рекавери  #еда #яем #anorexic #anabitch #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #recovery #recoverywin #rpp #рпп #fuckanorexia #fuckana #fooddiary

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Throwback to last Friday at the Christmas reception at my uni. 
Had so much fun.
Got quite drunk too.
Made new friends, had fun with old friends.
Went to the student club afterwards and danced and had alcohol and enjoyed myself. .
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Today I am trying to open a bank account. Bank is ridiculous. 2 times been to the branch already today cause my address on confirmation late said LN instead of LANE and had to go home print new one and get back to the bank. So did that and banker is not there cause on an early lunch break? Now waiting till 1pm at Costa. Probably gonna have lunch here. Any suggestions?

Throwback to last Friday at the Christmas reception at my uni. Had so much fun. Got quite drunk too. Made new friends, had fun with old friends. Went to the student club afterwards and danced and had alcohol and enjoyed myself. . . . . . Today I am trying to open a bank account. Bank is ridiculous. 2 times been to the branch already today cause my address on confirmation late said LN instead of LANE and had to go home print new one and get back to the bank. So did that and banker is not there cause on an early lunch break? Now waiting till 1pm at Costa. Probably gonna have lunch here. Any suggestions?

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• Un soupçon de... COMPEX

Cette marque🤩 
C’est grâce à elle que j’ai pu réussir mon périple 🏃🏻‍♀️ C’est grâce à elle que j’ai progressé et récupéré en utilisant le SP 6 🔌 
C’est grâce à elle que je me suis fait une bande de potes de folie 🤪 
Et je compte bien ne pas la lâcher!! 🔐 
@compexfrance et moi, une histoire qui ne fait que se poursuivre 🤝  #noelcompex #unsoupcondetrail #trail #trailgirl #trailrunning #trailrun  #girlswhorun #motivation #passion #determination #oufderun #teamcompex #runstoppable #runismytherapy #mountainlover #seekthesimplicity #run #runninggirl #runnerlife #anarecovery #mesbasketsmontsauvelavie #81kmpourrevivre
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• Un soupçon de... COMPEX Cette marque🤩 C’est grâce à elle que j’ai pu réussir mon périple 🏃🏻‍♀️ C’est grâce à elle que j’ai progressé et récupéré en utilisant le SP 6 🔌 C’est grâce à elle que je me suis fait une bande de potes de folie 🤪 Et je compte bien ne pas la lâcher!! 🔐 @compexfrance et moi, une histoire qui ne fait que se poursuivre 🤝 #noelcompex #unsoupcondetrail #trail #trailgirl #trailrunning #trailrun #girlswhorun #motivation #passion #determination #oufderun #teamcompex #runstoppable #runismytherapy #mountainlover #seekthesimplicity #run #runninggirl #runnerlife #anarecovery #mesbasketsmontsauvelavie #81kmpourrevivre - [ ]

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Trying desperately to stay outpatient... which resulted in me making some very optimistic promises to my dietician... and because let’s be real, the frosting that comes with Toaster Strudel just doesn’t cut it. #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #realrecovery #toasterstrudel #breakfast #foodlog #foodisfuel #anafighter #anawarrior #anarecovery #2fab4ana #beated #nourishtoflourish #noexcuses #eatittobeatit #fearfood

Trying desperately to stay outpatient... which resulted in me making some very optimistic promises to my dietician... and because let’s be real, the frosting that comes with Toaster Strudel just doesn’t cut it. #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #realrecovery #toasterstrudel #breakfast #foodlog #foodisfuel #anafighter #anawarrior #anarecovery #2fab4ana #beated #nourishtoflourish #noexcuses #eatittobeatit #fearfood

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day 6 of a new life #confessiontime 
I’m really stressed out because tomorrow I have to go to the hospital for my weekly check. Gonna see my doctor (who manages my team), my dietitian and my psychologist. 
My anxiety is probably due to the fact that they are going to change my meal plan and increase it. And I’m pretty scared, to be honest.
I’m also anxious because they are gonna weight me. They don’t tell me my weight ‘cause I don’t want to, but I’ve been pretty good following my meal plan and I have the irrational fear of having gained (too much), event though I dovhave to gain weight. 
It’s been a rough week emotionally and psychologically but I really stick to the plan and I’m also afraid (even more irrationally) that they are gonna think I’m doing too well.  #edrecovery #edrecoveryquotes #edrecoveryarmy #edrecovering #recover #recovery #anoressia #anoressiaitalia #anorexiarecovery #anoressianervosa #disturbialimentari #dca #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthrecoveryquotes #eatingdissorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordermemes #eatingdisorderquotes #eatingdisorderproblems #anorexicgirl #anorexiarecovery #anorexiamemes #anorexiawarrior #anorexiaproblems #anarecovery
#fearfood #siamopiufortinoi

day 6 of a new life #confessiontime I’m really stressed out because tomorrow I have to go to the hospital for my weekly check. Gonna see my doctor (who manages my team), my dietitian and my psychologist. My anxiety is probably due to the fact that they are going to change my meal plan and increase it. And I’m pretty scared, to be honest. I’m also anxious because they are gonna weight me. They don’t tell me my weight ‘cause I don’t want to, but I’ve been pretty good following my meal plan and I have the irrational fear of having gained (too much), event though I dovhave to gain weight. It’s been a rough week emotionally and psychologically but I really stick to the plan and I’m also afraid (even more irrationally) that they are gonna think I’m doing too well. #edrecovery #edrecoveryquotes #edrecoveryarmy #edrecovering #recover #recovery #anoressia #anoressiaitalia #anorexiarecovery #anoressianervosa #disturbialimentari #dca #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthrecoveryquotes #eatingdissorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordermemes #eatingdisorderquotes #eatingdisorderproblems #anorexicgirl #anorexiarecovery #anorexiamemes #anorexiawarrior #anorexiaproblems #anarecovery #fearfood #siamopiufortinoi

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Before being diagnosed with anorexia I knew nothing of mental health or eating disorders. I thought these things were easily fixed by pills, that eating disorders could be resolved by simply giving them a “good meal” or “getting your act together” 
Recovering from an eating disorder remains the hardest thing I have ever achieved. 
For family and friends my illness came as a complete shock. No one understood or knew exactly what was going on; what to say or what to do. People would tread on eggshells around me worried if they said the wrong thing they’d make me worse.
I went through 3 or 4 major relapses,  daily slip ups, dropped out of my A levels & first Uni Degree. I lost friends, my boyfriend, developed osteopenia and amenorrhoea. Both my life and body were shutting down. I was a dark place to be and I couldn’t see myself throw my eating disorders control.
The more I learnt about my illness the more it became clear that eating disorders are NOT about food or weight. Rather anorexia was a way to cope, to control, to block out pain  and trauma, all of which I had projected onto myself, and my body, as the source of blame

Being free from food and body image issues takes time; takes openness and honesty, self awareness and above all a desire to change. I was very “all or nothing” in recovery, I didn’t want a “functioning” eating disorder I could tolerate, I wanted to be free. This took time and I invested in my growth as a person; believing I deserved more, showing myself I can achieve more, than my eating disorder would ever allow me to 
The cure isn’t solely challenging faulty beliefs about food, or regaining body weight. Mental health is not a size, a shape or a weight.
It takes courage and determination but I was encouraged to explore: 
WHY this illness was here? 
HOW i felt about not just my body, but about myself?
WHAT anorexia protected me from? 
WHAT it was giving me?
WHAT it was taking away from me?
WHAT would happen if I began to let it go?

The key is to speak up and know you have a voice thats worth hearing, that you are deserving of life away from disorder. Life is short so speak up and don’t spend it suffering ✌️

Before being diagnosed with anorexia I knew nothing of mental health or eating disorders. I thought these things were easily fixed by pills, that eating disorders could be resolved by simply giving them a “good meal” or “getting your act together” Recovering from an eating disorder remains the hardest thing I have ever achieved. For family and friends my illness came as a complete shock. No one understood or knew exactly what was going on; what to say or what to do. People would tread on eggshells around me worried if they said the wrong thing they’d make me worse. I went through 3 or 4 major relapses, daily slip ups, dropped out of my A levels & first Uni Degree. I lost friends, my boyfriend, developed osteopenia and amenorrhoea. Both my life and body were shutting down. I was a dark place to be and I couldn’t see myself throw my eating disorders control. The more I learnt about my illness the more it became clear that eating disorders are NOT about food or weight. Rather anorexia was a way to cope, to control, to block out pain and trauma, all of which I had projected onto myself, and my body, as the source of blame Being free from food and body image issues takes time; takes openness and honesty, self awareness and above all a desire to change. I was very “all or nothing” in recovery, I didn’t want a “functioning” eating disorder I could tolerate, I wanted to be free. This took time and I invested in my growth as a person; believing I deserved more, showing myself I can achieve more, than my eating disorder would ever allow me to The cure isn’t solely challenging faulty beliefs about food, or regaining body weight. Mental health is not a size, a shape or a weight. It takes courage and determination but I was encouraged to explore: WHY this illness was here? HOW i felt about not just my body, but about myself? WHAT anorexia protected me from? WHAT it was giving me? WHAT it was taking away from me? WHAT would happen if I began to let it go? The key is to speak up and know you have a voice thats worth hearing, that you are deserving of life away from disorder. Life is short so speak up and don’t spend it suffering ✌️

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morning snack was a milky coffee and a nature valley bar 🌟
after my recent relapse, my parents have taken back full control of my meal plan 😳 I have no say in what I eat, and am not even allowed to be in the kitchen! it’s so hard to not have that control- but honestly it’s also a relief 🙊 I have no choice but to eat what my mum makes for me, and this means I’m finally eating what I need to! when I was making all my own meals I would restrict in every way I could, but because I have nothing to do with food prep anymore I can’t restrict at all 🙃 I’m on 1500 calories at the moment, and my mum works out my daily calories exactly and factors everything in so it helps a bit to know that she’s giving me exactly what I need! obviously I can’t weigh stuff anymore so I can’t count my calories 😓 I still have a mental calorie counter in my head that I can’t get rid of but I can’t be as obsessive about it as I was because I have no way of knowing the exact figures. if you’re struggling I really recommend giving full control to someone else because you can’t act on restriction urges! it’s really hard, but I’ve honestly found it to be a relief as well x
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#anorexia#anorexianervosa#anorexiarecovery#strongnotskinny#anarecovery#ana#eatittobeatit#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#edrecovery#edrecoverywarrior#prorecovery#mentalhealth#beatinganorexia#fightingana#fightinganorexia

morning snack was a milky coffee and a nature valley bar 🌟 after my recent relapse, my parents have taken back full control of my meal plan 😳 I have no say in what I eat, and am not even allowed to be in the kitchen! it’s so hard to not have that control- but honestly it’s also a relief 🙊 I have no choice but to eat what my mum makes for me, and this means I’m finally eating what I need to! when I was making all my own meals I would restrict in every way I could, but because I have nothing to do with food prep anymore I can’t restrict at all 🙃 I’m on 1500 calories at the moment, and my mum works out my daily calories exactly and factors everything in so it helps a bit to know that she’s giving me exactly what I need! obviously I can’t weigh stuff anymore so I can’t count my calories 😓 I still have a mental calorie counter in my head that I can’t get rid of but I can’t be as obsessive about it as I was because I have no way of knowing the exact figures. if you’re struggling I really recommend giving full control to someone else because you can’t act on restriction urges! it’s really hard, but I’ve honestly found it to be a relief as well x - #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #strongnotskinny #anarecovery #ana #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoverywarrior #prorecovery #mentalhealth #beatinganorexia #fightingana #fightinganorexia

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I am so proud of myself today😇My interview for a dream job went for an hour and so well🤗I don't know if I'm going to study and work or work full time🙈or if I've even got a job🙄but I am happy with how well I tried and it's put confidence in me for the future😊
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#realrecovery #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #recoveryisworthit #recoverytowin #eatittobeatit #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #anorexia #anarecovery #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #food #bulimia #outpatient #eatingdisorderrecovery #health #foodlover #fooddiary #foodisfuel

I am so proud of myself today😇My interview for a dream job went for an hour and so well🤗I don't know if I'm going to study and work or work full time🙈or if I've even got a job🙄but I am happy with how well I tried and it's put confidence in me for the future😊 . . . . #realrecovery #recovery #recovering #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #edfam #recoveryisworthit #recoverytowin #eatittobeatit #ana #anarecovery #edrecovery #anorexianervosa #prorecovery #recoveryisworthit #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #fuckana #anorexia #anarecovery #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #food #bulimia #outpatient #eatingdisorderrecovery #health #foodlover #fooddiary #foodisfuel

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whaaatt?? pocky two times in one day?? hell yes. today has been a good day so ima treat myself with even more delicious stuff!! matcha latte with matcha pocky! matcha is my absolute favorite flavor💚
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#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #prorecovery #edfam #anafighter #recovery #recoverywin #fearfood #beatana #edwarrior #edfighter #pocky #snack #snacking #food #matcha #matchalatte #oatly

whaaatt?? pocky two times in one day?? hell yes. today has been a good day so ima treat myself with even more delicious stuff!! matcha latte with matcha pocky! matcha is my absolute favorite flavor💚 - #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #prorecovery #edfam #anafighter #recovery #recoverywin #fearfood #beatana #edwarrior #edfighter #pocky #snack #snacking #food #matcha #matchalatte #oatly

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Guten Morgen ihr Lieben!🙋‍♀️
Heute fing der Tag schonmal sehr gut an. Früh aufgestanden, etwas aufgeräumt, frische Kichererbsen gekocht und andere wichtige Dinge erledigt.🗒✏
Ich habe mich dazu entschieden etwas zum Frühstück zu essen. Normalerweise esse ich ja immer Nachts eine Mahlzeit.😂 Auf mich warten heute noch viele Sachen von daher ist Frühstück sehr wichtig und sollte ich nicht vernachlässigen, egal was mir die Essstörung sagt! Es geht gleich raus und ich wünsche euch allen einen wunderschönen Tag! Passt auf euch auf!😙🍀
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#vegan #veganfood #food #foodporn #instafood #foodpic #healthyfood #healthy #plantbased
#chickpeas #chili #curry #veganwerdenwaslosdigga #foodie #whatveganseat #foodblog #veganism #veganrecovery #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #eatingdisorder #eatittobeat #edwarrior #anarecovery #anawho #anorexianervosa #anorexia #foodisfuel

Guten Morgen ihr Lieben!🙋‍♀️ Heute fing der Tag schonmal sehr gut an. Früh aufgestanden, etwas aufgeräumt, frische Kichererbsen gekocht und andere wichtige Dinge erledigt.🗒✏ Ich habe mich dazu entschieden etwas zum Frühstück zu essen. Normalerweise esse ich ja immer Nachts eine Mahlzeit.😂 Auf mich warten heute noch viele Sachen von daher ist Frühstück sehr wichtig und sollte ich nicht vernachlässigen, egal was mir die Essstörung sagt! Es geht gleich raus und ich wünsche euch allen einen wunderschönen Tag! Passt auf euch auf!😙🍀 . . . #vegan #veganfood #food #foodporn #instafood #foodpic #healthyfood #healthy #plantbased #chickpeas #chili #curry #veganwerdenwaslosdigga #foodie #whatveganseat #foodblog #veganism #veganrecovery #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #eatingdisorder #eatittobeat #edwarrior #anarecovery #anawho #anorexianervosa #anorexia #foodisfuel

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Pictured is my breakfast which was a banana yogurt, my lunch which was a tin of tuna with some broccoli and pumpkin and one of my snacks which was some watermelon. I had other snacks as well just not pictured. My dinner was spaghetti which I ate very little of. I then had some more of that jelly I made yesterday as an evening snack/dessert! 🤩 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-TW- 
Today was quite difficult. I have a lot of family stuff going on too that isn’t helping with the stress. I’m so sick of this ED controlling my thoughts. I’m so sick of adding up my daily calories and weighing everything I eat. I’m so sick of having to take off my clothes every morning just to weight my self. I’m so done with this but I don’t know how to pull myself out. I’m very nervous for the doctors on Friday. I feel like I’m not worthy of going to the doctors since I’m only just underweight with a bmi of 16.5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-TW over-

Thank you everyone for the support and I hope you all push through all your challenges! ❤️ #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #fearfood #fearfoods #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #anawarrior #recovery #prorecovery #eatittobeatit #recoveryishard #beatana

Pictured is my breakfast which was a banana yogurt, my lunch which was a tin of tuna with some broccoli and pumpkin and one of my snacks which was some watermelon. I had other snacks as well just not pictured. My dinner was spaghetti which I ate very little of. I then had some more of that jelly I made yesterday as an evening snack/dessert! 🤩 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -TW- Today was quite difficult. I have a lot of family stuff going on too that isn’t helping with the stress. I’m so sick of this ED controlling my thoughts. I’m so sick of adding up my daily calories and weighing everything I eat. I’m so sick of having to take off my clothes every morning just to weight my self. I’m so done with this but I don’t know how to pull myself out. I’m very nervous for the doctors on Friday. I feel like I’m not worthy of going to the doctors since I’m only just underweight with a bmi of 16.5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -TW over- Thank you everyone for the support and I hope you all push through all your challenges! ❤️ #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #fearfood #fearfoods #anorexia #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #anawarrior #recovery #prorecovery #eatittobeatit #recoveryishard #beatana

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#morningsnack 🙃🙃🙃

#morningsnack 🙃🙃🙃

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Not feeling good enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough productive enough, the list goes on... I know the root of my anorexia is a deep internalised sense of never being enough. This constantly leads to feelings of Worthless and failure. It makes me feel that I do not deserve love, connection, enjoyment, proper nutrition and rest. 🎀
To recover from anorexia, first I must heal that part of me. I must truly believe that I am good enough and worthy of all things. Just as I would acknowledge anyone else’s worth and deservingness to love and care for themselves with proper nourishment and rest, I must acknowledge my own. 
I am far from this. Recovery for me isn’t just a meal plan and combatting restrictive thoughts; it’s about learning how to accept that my best is good enough, even if that doesn’t meet the standards. I am enough no matter what. You are enough no matter what. The end. 
#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #warrior #change #fighter #nevergiveup #ana #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #freedom #anarecovery #edfam #hospitalised #happy #motivation #commitment #prayer #health #support #transformation #selfhelp #prorecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #christmas #bodypositive

Not feeling good enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough productive enough, the list goes on... I know the root of my anorexia is a deep internalised sense of never being enough. This constantly leads to feelings of Worthless and failure. It makes me feel that I do not deserve love, connection, enjoyment, proper nutrition and rest. 🎀 To recover from anorexia, first I must heal that part of me. I must truly believe that I am good enough and worthy of all things. Just as I would acknowledge anyone else’s worth and deservingness to love and care for themselves with proper nourishment and rest, I must acknowledge my own. I am far from this. Recovery for me isn’t just a meal plan and combatting restrictive thoughts; it’s about learning how to accept that my best is good enough, even if that doesn’t meet the standards. I am enough no matter what. You are enough no matter what. The end. #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #warrior #change #fighter #nevergiveup #ana #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #freedom #anarecovery #edfam #hospitalised #happy #motivation #commitment #prayer #health #support #transformation #selfhelp #prorecovery #recovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #christmas #bodypositive

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I had a moment today
My recovery was tested.
I brushed my hair out in the shower— the first real time I’ve brushed it in weeks—
Maybe you’re wondering why it’s been so long
I can attribute that to a few things
My hair gets really poofy when I brush it out
Unless I use products for keeping my waves under control
But I don’t like to spend money on that kind of thing;
So usually it’s high tide for me.
Oh, I also wear my hair up most of the time
Or in a braid
Why would I brush it?
I have tons of reasons not to
Most days, though,
I just don’t feel like it.
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Sorry— I got off topic. My therapist has made me realize that I do that in the moments that
I don’t want to talk about difficult things.
Like this one time, we were in the middle of a conversation
When I told her about—
Wait
I’m doing it again.
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Today I felt like finally brushing my hair
But when I was done
I was left with a handful of knots.
(I have so many knots from not brushing my hair, which is because
—Wait, shit. Sorry.)
In that moment, the one I mentioned before,
I had what I can only describe as body memories
I could feel the dryness and rawness of my scalp at 19
I remembered gradual thinning of this thick, Italian mane that never lost a battle until it met the “wrong crowd” that I was hanging out with.
It was me, malnourishment, starvation, and isolation.
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I stared down at the clump in my hand & tried not to drown in my flood of thoughts;
I tried as hard as I could not to remember the girl who lost some hair & friends & memories & moments
But it didn’t work.
I had a moment.
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My ED head propped itself back up on my shoulders,
Only for a moment
But long enough to ask:
“Remember how easy it was
To be so empty
Emotionally & physically?
Remember when we would
Hold fists full of hair
And step on the scale after
To see if the number changed?
Don’t you miss
The games we played?”
I was about to answer those questions
But then I got uncomfortable
Didn’t feel like being vulnerable anymore
So, I changed the topic.
“I‘m pretty hungry,”
I thought,
“Probably a good time to eat lunch.”
-
& just like that, the moment was over
As quickly as it began.
•
#latenightjournaling
(this post is from jan ‘18❤️)

I had a moment today My recovery was tested. I brushed my hair out in the shower— the first real time I’ve brushed it in weeks— Maybe you’re wondering why it’s been so long I can attribute that to a few things My hair gets really poofy when I brush it out Unless I use products for keeping my waves under control But I don’t like to spend money on that kind of thing; So usually it’s high tide for me. Oh, I also wear my hair up most of the time Or in a braid Why would I brush it? I have tons of reasons not to Most days, though, I just don’t feel like it. - Sorry— I got off topic. My therapist has made me realize that I do that in the moments that I don’t want to talk about difficult things. Like this one time, we were in the middle of a conversation When I told her about— Wait I’m doing it again. - Today I felt like finally brushing my hair But when I was done I was left with a handful of knots. (I have so many knots from not brushing my hair, which is because —Wait, shit. Sorry.) In that moment, the one I mentioned before, I had what I can only describe as body memories I could feel the dryness and rawness of my scalp at 19 I remembered gradual thinning of this thick, Italian mane that never lost a battle until it met the “wrong crowd” that I was hanging out with. It was me, malnourishment, starvation, and isolation. - I stared down at the clump in my hand & tried not to drown in my flood of thoughts; I tried as hard as I could not to remember the girl who lost some hair & friends & memories & moments But it didn’t work. I had a moment. - My ED head propped itself back up on my shoulders, Only for a moment But long enough to ask: “Remember how easy it was To be so empty Emotionally & physically? Remember when we would Hold fists full of hair And step on the scale after To see if the number changed? Don’t you miss The games we played?” I was about to answer those questions But then I got uncomfortable Didn’t feel like being vulnerable anymore So, I changed the topic. “I‘m pretty hungry,” I thought, “Probably a good time to eat lunch.” - & just like that, the moment was over As quickly as it began. • #latenightjournaling (this post is from jan ‘18❤️)

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super random lunch because i can't cook😂 tuna, egg, cucumber, ketchup and flatbread (+ a small apple we had lying around!)
today has been pretty nice so far. i went to class despite feeling like shit so that was quite a win! now i should probably catch up on some school work but we'll see... i'm feeling kinda lazy so i might just go and watch some tv😅 
#realrecovery #recovering #edrecovery #edfighter #edfamily #edwarrior #edcommunity #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #recoveryisworthit #food #mentalhealth #anarecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodie #nourishtoflourish #honoryourhunger #strongnotskinny #eatittobeatit #gainingweightiscool #eatittobeatit #recoveryispossible #chooserecovery

super random lunch because i can't cook😂 tuna, egg, cucumber, ketchup and flatbread (+ a small apple we had lying around!) today has been pretty nice so far. i went to class despite feeling like shit so that was quite a win! now i should probably catch up on some school work but we'll see... i'm feeling kinda lazy so i might just go and watch some tv😅 #realrecovery #recovering #edrecovery #edfighter #edfamily #edwarrior #edcommunity #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #recoveryisworthit #food #mentalhealth #anarecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodie #nourishtoflourish #honoryourhunger #strongnotskinny #eatittobeatit #gainingweightiscool #eatittobeatit #recoveryispossible  #chooserecovery

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#Repost @enya_fitness (@get_repost) Can't wait to start training and helping Erin reach her goals and ideal body physique!! ・・・
On the left is a girl who was severely underweight, running on a treadmill every day until exhaustion and living off next to no food. Trying to achieve that “model” figure and EXTREMELY unhappy in the biggest mental health rut of my life
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On the right, is a girl who is 13kg heavier, enjoys nothing more that weight training (especially on leg day), eats not the best but more than enough to sustain a healthier weight and may not be 100% mentally well but is 11000x happier in myself than 2 years ago! I’ve still got a long way to go but I am so ready for it!
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I can’t wait to start to fully get into training with @crhysspt at @thegymhemel next week. Going to really work towards personal fitness goals and building a stronger body in general! So excited for what’s to come ☺️🙌🏻
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#edrecovery #girlswholift #gymmotivation #fitnessmotivation #beforeandafter #edwarrior #anarecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #mentalhealth #weighttraining #personaltraining #gymshark #gymsharkwomen #happier #journey #fitnessjourney #igotthis

#Repost @enya_fitness (@get_repost) Can't wait to start training and helping Erin reach her goals and ideal body physique!! ・・・ On the left is a girl who was severely underweight, running on a treadmill every day until exhaustion and living off next to no food. Trying to achieve that “model” figure and EXTREMELY unhappy in the biggest mental health rut of my life • On the right, is a girl who is 13kg heavier, enjoys nothing more that weight training (especially on leg day), eats not the best but more than enough to sustain a healthier weight and may not be 100% mentally well but is 11000x happier in myself than 2 years ago! I’ve still got a long way to go but I am so ready for it! • I can’t wait to start to fully get into training with @crhysspt at @thegymhemel next week. Going to really work towards personal fitness goals and building a stronger body in general! So excited for what’s to come ☺️🙌🏻 • #edrecovery #girlswholift #gymmotivation #fitnessmotivation #beforeandafter #edwarrior #anarecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #mentalhealth #weighttraining #personaltraining #gymshark #gymsharkwomen #happier #journey #fitnessjourney #igotthis

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Had my first modelling shoot the other day , so obviously I spent a bit of time goofing off and taking dumb photos.

Also stoked to know this dress I got at age 17 (!!!) Still fits, and frankly, looks tonnes more better on me now than it did back then!
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#model#modelling#pinup#pinupmodel#pinup#rockabilly#mirrorselfie#hellbunny#offyatree#amateurmodel#melbournemodel#vintagefashion#curvygirl#shorthair#redlip#edrecovery#mentalhealth#anarecovery#bpd

Had my first modelling shoot the other day , so obviously I spent a bit of time goofing off and taking dumb photos. Also stoked to know this dress I got at age 17 (!!!) Still fits, and frankly, looks tonnes more better on me now than it did back then! . . . . . . . . . .. . #model #modelling #pinup #pinupmodel #pinup #rockabilly #mirrorselfie #hellbunny #offyatree #amateurmodel #melbournemodel #vintagefashion #curvygirl #shorthair #redlip #edrecovery #mentalhealth #anarecovery #bpd

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Bloating. It's not all that glamorous.
Extreme hunger. It's not so easy to deal with.
Both of these together? Well that's something that even I am still trying to get my head around.
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Extreme Hunger: in recovery it is bound to happen, your body is in so much of a calorie deficit it just wants to rectify it, and fast. But don't worry, you're not alone, it happens to us all. Combined with being on and coming off my period, these past few nights this has hit me hard, I've had a few 'bad' nights, and unfortunatley, it's something that I've not been able to speak to my family about because in all honesty, I just feel like a burden, like everything I do is wrong. I struggled particularly bad a few nights ago, I really, really did. The extreme hunger hit me like a a tonne of bricks and that meant I ate. A lot. And in secret. And, as you can imagine, this meant that afterwards, the bloat was there and it hit me too. I couldn't cope, I could barely look at myself, I felt so ashamed, I felt so unworthy of everything I had just eaten and my head was full of ideas on planning a full blown relapse. But then, the question is, why?! Why feel ashamed of something that was necessary in that moment? Why feel so bad about something that my body so obviously needed? There is literally no reason. None.
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And as for bloating: well, truthfully, it's such an inevitable part of recovery. However, it's also the thing we all try to avoid the most. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's nothing that you need to get rid of. It's a process, a process in which everyone's bodies (and yes, that includes those 'normal' people you see on the streets) goes through to process what they've eaten throughout the day. Sometimes it will be super uncomfortable and other times it will be 'bigger' than usual. But it's ok, it's not you doing something wrong. Your body will bloat regardless. No, it may not disappear over night, sometimes it may take a day or two (like in my case shown in the pictures above), but it will go, it isn't you putting on 'loads of weight' and it isn't you 'getting fat'. It is simply your body trying to figure out what it does and doesn't need in order to function effectively...

Bloating. It's not all that glamorous. Extreme hunger. It's not so easy to deal with. Both of these together? Well that's something that even I am still trying to get my head around. - Extreme Hunger: in recovery it is bound to happen, your body is in so much of a calorie deficit it just wants to rectify it, and fast. But don't worry, you're not alone, it happens to us all. Combined with being on and coming off my period, these past few nights this has hit me hard, I've had a few 'bad' nights, and unfortunatley, it's something that I've not been able to speak to my family about because in all honesty, I just feel like a burden, like everything I do is wrong. I struggled particularly bad a few nights ago, I really, really did. The extreme hunger hit me like a a tonne of bricks and that meant I ate. A lot. And in secret. And, as you can imagine, this meant that afterwards, the bloat was there and it hit me too. I couldn't cope, I could barely look at myself, I felt so ashamed, I felt so unworthy of everything I had just eaten and my head was full of ideas on planning a full blown relapse. But then, the question is, why?! Why feel ashamed of something that was necessary in that moment? Why feel so bad about something that my body so obviously needed? There is literally no reason. None. - And as for bloating: well, truthfully, it's such an inevitable part of recovery. However, it's also the thing we all try to avoid the most. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's nothing that you need to get rid of. It's a process, a process in which everyone's bodies (and yes, that includes those 'normal' people you see on the streets) goes through to process what they've eaten throughout the day. Sometimes it will be super uncomfortable and other times it will be 'bigger' than usual. But it's ok, it's not you doing something wrong. Your body will bloat regardless. No, it may not disappear over night, sometimes it may take a day or two (like in my case shown in the pictures above), but it will go, it isn't you putting on 'loads of weight' and it isn't you 'getting fat'. It is simply your body trying to figure out what it does and doesn't need in order to function effectively...

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🌟My #morningsnack is a #saltedcaramel #fibreone and a #hotchocolate 🌟Im not going to school today as i am completely shattered
🌟So i am just going to spend tge day curled up in a blanket doing some work whilst watching tv
🌟Mood wise im feeling very low
💗Anyways i hope you all have a lovely day💗
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anasucks #dontletanorexiawin #goawayana #beatana #food #eat #eatittobeatit #foodshouldnotbefeared #freefromed #foodismedicine #depression #recovery #realrecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodislife #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #food #eat #snackandsmile #mentalhealth

🌟My #morningsnack is a #saltedcaramel #fibreone and a #hotchocolate 🌟Im not going to school today as i am completely shattered 🌟So i am just going to spend tge day curled up in a blanket doing some work whilst watching tv 🌟Mood wise im feeling very low 💗Anyways i hope you all have a lovely day💗 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anasucks #dontletanorexiawin #goawayana #beatana #food #eat #eatittobeatit #foodshouldnotbefeared #freefromed #foodismedicine #depression #recovery #realrecovery #foodisfuel #prorecovery #foodislife #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #food #eat #snackandsmile #mentalhealth

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Okay so I'm going out for a meal tonight with everyone from my college course and I'm completely freaking out. ITS A 2 COURSE MEAL 😩 which I never do. 1 course is a struggle and it means eating infront of loads of people 😕 my worst nightmare. I don't know what to do. I CAN'T remember the last time I ate a hot meal 
at a restaurant.
 My heart is pounding just thinking about it 😬

#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #beatingana #edfamily

Okay so I'm going out for a meal tonight with everyone from my college course and I'm completely freaking out. ITS A 2 COURSE MEAL 😩 which I never do. 1 course is a struggle and it means eating infront of loads of people 😕 my worst nightmare. I don't know what to do. I CAN'T remember the last time I ate a hot meal at a restaurant. My heart is pounding just thinking about it 😬 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #beatingana #edfamily

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#breakfast 😣😣 Har inte längre extravak?!? SÅ SKÖNT!! Men är galet rädd för mig själv just nu, vet ju vad jag kan göra nu när de inte är här 24/7🤪

#breakfast 😣😣 Har inte längre extravak?!? SÅ SKÖNT!! Men är galet rädd för mig själv just nu, vet ju vad jag kan göra nu när de inte är här 24/7🤪

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Dinner is chicken pesto with a cup of pasta 🍝 I love this dish so much and it’s getting easier each time 👍👍

Dinner is chicken pesto with a cup of pasta 🍝 I love this dish so much and it’s getting easier each time 👍👍

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Rigatoni pasta with tomato chilli and garlic pesto lentils. God I’m obsessed with @followyourheart vegan Parmesan 🧀

Rigatoni pasta with tomato chilli and garlic pesto lentils. God I’m obsessed with @followyourheart vegan Parmesan 🧀

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Breakfast : bagel (250 kcal!) with a slice of cheese and flora light. I added some fancy herbal salt to it too and it was awesome. Unpictured is all-time fave @fage 0% yoghurt (200g)
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Woke up in a good mood, didn’t get on the scale, potentially accepted a potential new gig.. Wasn’t gonna do breakfast cos not super hungry but then i thought i might as well get it over with while my partner is still home (i usually feel less guilt when I eat with other people). In other recovery-related news my period has made an appearance.. Feel powerless and conflicted about it all.

Breakfast : bagel (250 kcal!) with a slice of cheese and flora light. I added some fancy herbal salt to it too and it was awesome. Unpictured is all-time fave @fage 0% yoghurt (200g) . . . . Woke up in a good mood, didn’t get on the scale, potentially accepted a potential new gig.. Wasn’t gonna do breakfast cos not super hungry but then i thought i might as well get it over with while my partner is still home (i usually feel less guilt when I eat with other people). In other recovery-related news my period has made an appearance.. Feel powerless and conflicted about it all.

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ITS MA BIRTHDAY!! 21 would you believe it! Although I feel old compared to my fellow first years, most of whom are 18/19, I’m also pleasantly surprised I’ve made it to 21 with all the daft things I’ve done because of my mental health. And this is the first birthday I’m actually looking forward to having cake with friends (and bubbly)🥂 here’s to another year thrashing anorexia 🙌🏻 and thanks all of you for helping me get here ❤️ #birthday #21 #recovery #recovering #recoverywin #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #realrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recoverywarrior #beatana #fuckana #anawho #anawarrior #edwarrior #edfighter #edsoldier #edfamily #edfam #mentalhealthawareness #orthorexia #eatittobeatit #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery

ITS MA BIRTHDAY!! 21 would you believe it! Although I feel old compared to my fellow first years, most of whom are 18/19, I’m also pleasantly surprised I’ve made it to 21 with all the daft things I’ve done because of my mental health. And this is the first birthday I’m actually looking forward to having cake with friends (and bubbly)🥂 here’s to another year thrashing anorexia 🙌🏻 and thanks all of you for helping me get here ❤️ #birthday #21 #recovery #recovering #recoverywin #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #realrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recoverywarrior #beatana #fuckana #anawho #anawarrior #edwarrior #edfighter #edsoldier #edfamily #edfam #mentalhealthawareness #orthorexia #eatittobeatit #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery

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🍈CANTALOUPE MELON NICE CREAM🍈

This probably doesn’t sound like a promising flavor but I guarantee you it’s bomb💥 Combined with cinnamon it’s one of my favorite nice cream flavors🤤 I don’t know how this is possible but using cantaloupe makes the nice cream extra creamy and fluffy. 
Yesterday I went food shopping(again😅) so expect to see a mini foodhaul in the near future😊
——————————————————————— #food #foodporn #smoothierecipes #eating #cauliflower #vegan #veganfoodporn #veganfood #tasty #foodblogger #foodvideo #snack #dinner #breakfast  #foodreview #foodie #smoothiebowls #nicecreamporn #foodstagram #sweettooth #healthyfood  #recipe #veganrecipe #cleaneating #nicecream #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #edfighter #cantaloupe

🍈CANTALOUPE MELON NICE CREAM🍈 This probably doesn’t sound like a promising flavor but I guarantee you it’s bomb💥 Combined with cinnamon it’s one of my favorite nice cream flavors🤤 I don’t know how this is possible but using cantaloupe makes the nice cream extra creamy and fluffy. Yesterday I went food shopping(again😅) so expect to see a mini foodhaul in the near future😊 ——————————————————————— #food #foodporn #smoothierecipes #eating #cauliflower #vegan #veganfoodporn #veganfood #tasty #foodblogger #foodvideo #snack #dinner #breakfast #foodreview #foodie #smoothiebowls #nicecreamporn #foodstagram #sweettooth #healthyfood #recipe #veganrecipe #cleaneating #nicecream #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #edfighter #cantaloupe

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Nordic jumper vibes this morning ❄️
Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday #edfamily I was having a pretty bad day of food thoughts - mostly because I knew I had to get back on it, 3 drinks and over 2500cals 😬 
It was bloody horrid, all the nagging negative thoughts about how greedy I was, how I’ve definitely gained loads which is kinda spilling into today (I swear my face looks super puffy 😩) however #recoverywin at the end of yoga, the teacher gave out some mulled wine and chocolates, every fibre in me wanted to not drink it but I did!! 💪 I took the chocolates home for James but the fact I let myself have surprise, unmeasured, mystery alcohol is pretty good for me!
Now to eat eat eat repeat today 🙃🙈
#eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #adultswitheds #eatittobeatit #foodismedicine #edwarrior #edsoldier #fortisipcrew #eatingdisorderawareness #prorecovery

Nordic jumper vibes this morning ❄️ Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday #edfamily I was having a pretty bad day of food thoughts - mostly because I knew I had to get back on it, 3 drinks and over 2500cals 😬 It was bloody horrid, all the nagging negative thoughts about how greedy I was, how I’ve definitely gained loads which is kinda spilling into today (I swear my face looks super puffy 😩) however #recoverywin at the end of yoga, the teacher gave out some mulled wine and chocolates, every fibre in me wanted to not drink it but I did!! 💪 I took the chocolates home for James but the fact I let myself have surprise, unmeasured, mystery alcohol is pretty good for me! Now to eat eat eat repeat today 🙃🙈 #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edfighter #adultswitheds #eatittobeatit #foodismedicine #edwarrior #edsoldier #fortisipcrew #eatingdisorderawareness #prorecovery

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Update: (TW) 
So I went to therapy today and told her about how I’m hearing voices and seeing shadows and stuff. She says it probably relates to my cousin molesting me. Idk. I feel really low right now. I also told her about how I’ve self harmed recently. I also told her about how my OCD makes me cut myself a certain number of times. She’s honestly been really great with everything. I have an appointment with my other therapist and my psychiatrist on Friday. I have to talk to them about my meds because I stopped taking them again (it’s unrelated to me hearing voices now). They’ll be mad I stopped but I don’t really care. They don’t help and taking them stresses me out. My mom has been yelling more so that sucks. Idk I’ve been having nightmares a lot recently and my insomnia has gotten worse. My anxiety has also been really high. Life just kinda sucks right now. Also (major trigger warning) I banged my head against the wall last night and it started bleeding and my therapist says I need to go inpatient but I don’t want too and they can’t force me anymore because I turn 18 in a few days. Inpatient just won’t help. It made it worse last time. I’m not a danger to myself. I know it probably sounds like I am but I promise I’m not gonna hurt myself. So yeah. I’ll post another update on Friday! I hope you all are doing well!
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#edrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #ed #mentalhealth #depression #food #anxiety #recoveryisworthit #ana #anarecovery #foodisfuel #bulimia #edfighter #prorecovery #strongnotskinny #eatittobeatit #foodie #edfamily #OCD #edfam #selflove #recoveryispossible #foodporn #hope

Update: (TW) So I went to therapy today and told her about how I’m hearing voices and seeing shadows and stuff. She says it probably relates to my cousin molesting me. Idk. I feel really low right now. I also told her about how I’ve self harmed recently. I also told her about how my OCD makes me cut myself a certain number of times. She’s honestly been really great with everything. I have an appointment with my other therapist and my psychiatrist on Friday. I have to talk to them about my meds because I stopped taking them again (it’s unrelated to me hearing voices now). They’ll be mad I stopped but I don’t really care. They don’t help and taking them stresses me out. My mom has been yelling more so that sucks. Idk I’ve been having nightmares a lot recently and my insomnia has gotten worse. My anxiety has also been really high. Life just kinda sucks right now. Also (major trigger warning) I banged my head against the wall last night and it started bleeding and my therapist says I need to go inpatient but I don’t want too and they can’t force me anymore because I turn 18 in a few days. Inpatient just won’t help. It made it worse last time. I’m not a danger to myself. I know it probably sounds like I am but I promise I’m not gonna hurt myself. So yeah. I’ll post another update on Friday! I hope you all are doing well! • • #edrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #ed #mentalhealth #depression #food #anxiety #recoveryisworthit #ana #anarecovery #foodisfuel #bulimia #edfighter #prorecovery #strongnotskinny #eatittobeatit #foodie #edfamily #OCD #edfam #selflove #recoveryispossible #foodporn #hope

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Evening all,

What do you do when it’s a late night and you have to quickly throw together a dinner? Make a fried sumac tofu, green beans and vegetable couscous bowl of course! I do love a quick throw together dinner👌

I hope you have a lovely evening 😘
————————————————————————- #dinner #plantbased #vegan #vegetarian #meatfree #dairyfree #tofu #couscous #sumac #vegetables #greenbeans #eggplant #zuchinni #homemade #oregano #soysauce #masselvegetablestock #onion #foodisfuel #healthyeating #edrecovery #anarecovery #thenotfancycook #καληορεξη

Evening all, What do you do when it’s a late night and you have to quickly throw together a dinner? Make a fried sumac tofu, green beans and vegetable couscous bowl of course! I do love a quick throw together dinner👌 I hope you have a lovely evening 😘 ————————————————————————- #dinner #plantbased #vegan #vegetarian #meatfree #dairyfree #tofu #couscous #sumac #vegetables #greenbeans #eggplant #zuchinni #homemade #oregano #soysauce #masselvegetablestock #onion #foodisfuel #healthyeating #edrecovery #anarecovery #thenotfancycook #καληορεξη

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🇵🇱FOODBOOK3:
🥢śniadanie: serek homogenizowany z musli, suszonymi owocami i kiwi
🥢II śniadanie: nutridrink truskawka+banan
🥢obiad: kasza z szuszonymi pomidorami, pieczoną rybą i ratatouille
🥢przekąska: kokosowa dobra kaloria+mandarynka
🥢kolacja: zapiekane kanapki z szynką z kurczaka, papryką i szczypiorkiem
Nie miałam siły wstawić wczorajszego foodbooka, więc robię to dzisiaj. Głos any był zdecydowanie silniejszy niz w ostatnich dniach i pewnie spowodowane jest to też tym, że bardzo sie stresuję przed dzisiejszą sesją u psychiatry😞 Jednak walczyłam jeszcze bardziej niż zwykle i mam nadzieję, że dzisiaj również tego nie zmarnuję!
🇬🇧FOODBOOK3:
🥢breakfast: homogenized yogurt with muesli, dried fruits and kiwi
🥢lunch: nutridrink and banana
🥢dinner: barley with drued tomatoes, roasted fish and ratatouille
🥢snack: coconut bar and mandrine
🥢supper: toasts with chicken ham, peper and chive
I had no strength to insert next yesterday foodbook, so I do this now. Ana’s voice was louder than in the other days, probably it’s because I’m stressed before todays session at the psychiatrist😞 However I fought even more than usual and hope that that I will not waste it today!! #anorexia#anorexianervousa#anorexiarecouvery#anorexianervousarecovery#recovery#prorecovery#ana#anarecovery#anorexiafighter#anorexic#fightinganorexia#ed#edrecovery#edfamily#edrecoveryfamily#anoreksjarecovery#anoreksja#zaburzeniaodżywiania

🇵🇱FOODBOOK3: 🥢śniadanie: serek homogenizowany z musli, suszonymi owocami i kiwi 🥢II śniadanie: nutridrink truskawka+banan 🥢obiad: kasza z szuszonymi pomidorami, pieczoną rybą i ratatouille 🥢przekąska: kokosowa dobra kaloria+mandarynka 🥢kolacja: zapiekane kanapki z szynką z kurczaka, papryką i szczypiorkiem Nie miałam siły wstawić wczorajszego foodbooka, więc robię to dzisiaj. Głos any był zdecydowanie silniejszy niz w ostatnich dniach i pewnie spowodowane jest to też tym, że bardzo sie stresuję przed dzisiejszą sesją u psychiatry😞 Jednak walczyłam jeszcze bardziej niż zwykle i mam nadzieję, że dzisiaj również tego nie zmarnuję! 🇬🇧FOODBOOK3: 🥢breakfast: homogenized yogurt with muesli, dried fruits and kiwi 🥢lunch: nutridrink and banana 🥢dinner: barley with drued tomatoes, roasted fish and ratatouille 🥢snack: coconut bar and mandrine 🥢supper: toasts with chicken ham, peper and chive I had no strength to insert next yesterday foodbook, so I do this now. Ana’s voice was louder than in the other days, probably it’s because I’m stressed before todays session at the psychiatrist😞 However I fought even more than usual and hope that that I will not waste it today!! #anorexia #anorexianervousa #anorexiarecouvery #anorexianervousarecovery #recovery #prorecovery #ana #anarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexic #fightinganorexia #ed #edrecovery #edfamily #edrecoveryfamily #anoreksjarecovery #anoreksja #zaburzeniaodżywiania

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Vanilla crescents 🌛 Made these last week and I tell you guys, they taste AMAZING 🙌🏿 They’re really soft, sweet and vanilla-y 🤤 A perfect treat for Christmas if you ask me! And the second pic shows the hot chocolate I made yesterday for this week’s challenge 🍫 It was so good, thick and creamy - heaven in a mug 🙏🏽 I can’t remember the last time I had such a delicious cup of hot chocolate 😋
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I‘m actually so happy about the fact that I can enjoy treats like these again. They may still be a bit challenging to me, but it gets easier the more often I have them. Baked goods were such a hard thing for me for a long time; I couldn’t eat something I didn’t know the calories of, which is so sad because I made lots of things in the past which I didn’t allow myself to eat because of this stupid fear... Nowadays I LOVE to bake and also eat certain treats! I have set myself a rule that when I make something in the kitchen (like cake, muffins and the like), I also have to try it. At least once. And trust me, in most cases I will try even more than once because homemade goods are just too delicious to miss out on 😏 Especially around Christmas time it’s a good feeling to be able to try all the baked goods and treats and enjoy them together with my family. What would Christmas be without some cookies or hot chocolate? I don’t ever want to imagine another Christmas without it 🙅🏾‍♀️
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Have you done some Christmas baking already? 👩🏻‍🍳 Today I‘m having a free day which means I have more time to read, do yoga and play Pokémon 🤓 Happy Wednesday ♥️
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#anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery  #prorecovery #edfamily #edwarrior #recoveryisworthit #fightingforfreedom #fighting #fighter #strongnotskinny #healthynotskinny #motivation #positivity #positivethinking #vegan #veganfood #cookies #vanillacrescents #christmas #challenge #christmasbaking #baking #hotchocolate #chocolate #recoverywin

Vanilla crescents 🌛 Made these last week and I tell you guys, they taste AMAZING 🙌🏿 They’re really soft, sweet and vanilla-y 🤤 A perfect treat for Christmas if you ask me! And the second pic shows the hot chocolate I made yesterday for this week’s challenge 🍫 It was so good, thick and creamy - heaven in a mug 🙏🏽 I can’t remember the last time I had such a delicious cup of hot chocolate 😋 . I‘m actually so happy about the fact that I can enjoy treats like these again. They may still be a bit challenging to me, but it gets easier the more often I have them. Baked goods were such a hard thing for me for a long time; I couldn’t eat something I didn’t know the calories of, which is so sad because I made lots of things in the past which I didn’t allow myself to eat because of this stupid fear... Nowadays I LOVE to bake and also eat certain treats! I have set myself a rule that when I make something in the kitchen (like cake, muffins and the like), I also have to try it. At least once. And trust me, in most cases I will try even more than once because homemade goods are just too delicious to miss out on 😏 Especially around Christmas time it’s a good feeling to be able to try all the baked goods and treats and enjoy them together with my family. What would Christmas be without some cookies or hot chocolate? I don’t ever want to imagine another Christmas without it 🙅🏾‍♀️ . Have you done some Christmas baking already? 👩🏻‍🍳 Today I‘m having a free day which means I have more time to read, do yoga and play Pokémon 🤓 Happy Wednesday ♥️ . #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #prorecovery #edfamily #edwarrior #recoveryisworthit #fightingforfreedom #fighting #fighter #strongnotskinny #healthynotskinny #motivation #positivity #positivethinking #vegan #veganfood #cookies #vanillacrescents #christmas #challenge #christmasbaking #baking #hotchocolate #chocolate #recoverywin

62 likes - 62 comments
#supper I had Pumpkin Soup 🤤, Singapore Rice and a Nectarine!
This supper was a little late because I went to the shops with my mum and we got thing so I can cook more Gingerbread Cookies 😂👍 I love them so yea! 
I didn't mine that it was late at all because is only took like 5 minutes to prepare and cook😂 and I tried a different fruit!😱 and it was a little strange. Also the rice was yum and it was different to what I usually have! So this meal was all different and strange to me, I definitely won against Ana this round 💪🎉👍 ☆Beat it Ana☆
#anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recovery #edwarrior #anafighter #edrecovery #anxiety #anorexiarecoverymeal #edsoilder #edfigher #anorexiafighter  #anorexiawarrior #anasucks #fightanorexia

#supper I had Pumpkin Soup 🤤, Singapore Rice and a Nectarine! This supper was a little late because I went to the shops with my mum and we got thing so I can cook more Gingerbread Cookies 😂👍 I love them so yea! I didn't mine that it was late at all because is only took like 5 minutes to prepare and cook😂 and I tried a different fruit!😱 and it was a little strange. Also the rice was yum and it was different to what I usually have! So this meal was all different and strange to me, I definitely won against Ana this round 💪🎉👍 ☆Beat it Ana☆ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recovery #edwarrior #anafighter #edrecovery #anxiety #anorexiarecoverymeal #edsoilder #edfigher #anorexiafighter #anorexiawarrior #anasucks #fightanorexia

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#breakfast was readybrek 😋

#breakfast was readybrek 😋

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Winters a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put us in Summer and we’ll be.... singing as loud as we can!

Anna had a blast-and-a-half singing with everyone at the Christmas carols 🌸🎄

Winters a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put us in Summer and we’ll be.... singing as loud as we can! Anna had a blast-and-a-half singing with everyone at the Christmas carols 🌸🎄

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Non sono giorni felici gli ultimi trascorsi, non mi sembrano nemmeno 'giorni' a dire il vero.. solo ore, ore che scorrono e si inseguono distanti da me.
Sembra quasi che il tempo si sia inceppato, impantanato in un istante ma non é così. Scorre inesorabilmente e con lui si macinano gli anni persi dietro ad un malessere, ad un sintomo radicato nel profondo, ad ossessioni, OCD, calorie e cibocibocibo.
Ho avuto la visita dal medico Lunedì mattina e non è andata nel migliore dei modi. Il peso era oscillato di qualche etto in positivo un mese fa ma.. adesso sta di nuovo calando. '34.2Kg che dobbiamo fare con te Angelica? Ti stai impegnando a sufficienza? Hai raggiunto le quantità previste? Stai rispettando il riposo assoluto? Sono obbligata a prescriverti di nuovo gli integratori come ultima spiaggia.. Se entro la prossima visita non ci saranno recuperi considerevoli l'unica cosa da fare sarà ricoverarti ancora, ne sei consapevole?'
Ne sono consapevole..? Che sto buttando la mia vita nel cesso senza il minimo rispetto? Che sto bruciando me stessa in un rogo che non fa che ardere e ardere?
Spesso mi viene chiesto

Non sono giorni felici gli ultimi trascorsi, non mi sembrano nemmeno 'giorni' a dire il vero.. solo ore, ore che scorrono e si inseguono distanti da me. Sembra quasi che il tempo si sia inceppato, impantanato in un istante ma non é così. Scorre inesorabilmente e con lui si macinano gli anni persi dietro ad un malessere, ad un sintomo radicato nel profondo, ad ossessioni, OCD, calorie e cibocibocibo. Ho avuto la visita dal medico Lunedì mattina e non è andata nel migliore dei modi. Il peso era oscillato di qualche etto in positivo un mese fa ma.. adesso sta di nuovo calando. '34.2Kg che dobbiamo fare con te Angelica? Ti stai impegnando a sufficienza? Hai raggiunto le quantità previste? Stai rispettando il riposo assoluto? Sono obbligata a prescriverti di nuovo gli integratori come ultima spiaggia.. Se entro la prossima visita non ci saranno recuperi considerevoli l'unica cosa da fare sarà ricoverarti ancora, ne sei consapevole?' Ne sono consapevole..? Che sto buttando la mia vita nel cesso senza il minimo rispetto? Che sto bruciando me stessa in un rogo che non fa che ardere e ardere? Spesso mi viene chiesto "perché", perché non reagisco, perché ogni incerto passetto avanti poi diventano dieci indietro, perché nel mio stato ancora mi preoccupo di dover riprendere peso. Che poi.. é così importante un numero in fin dei conti? Mi rende migliore o più realizzata? É difficile accettarlo, senza dubbio, ma difficile non é una scusante valida.. Ne vale REALMENTE la pena? Tutto questo dolore, attaccamento morboso ad una maschera di spine? No. 'Siediti con te stessa e domandati se sei felice così. Se questa é la vita miserabile che vuoi passare. Se dopo 5 anni, a 21 anni, hai intenzione di sprecarne ancora per non avere il coraggio di cambiare, evolvere'. Ad ogni cosa si può porre rimedio e non voglio arrendermi ad un ideale, un'etichetta di una con un DCA cronico. Sono io che mi causo tutto questo e come veleno posso essere anche il mio antidoto. 'Ci sarà tempo per piangere, per avere crisi perché é difficile, ci saranno giorni di merda letteralmente.. ma alla fine ne varrà la pena, te lo giuro che ti guarderai indietro e ringrazierai te stessa per esserti amata' ⤵️

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Good morning! #breakfast is a toasted @nybakeryco seeded bagel thin. One half topped with @marksandspencerfoodpr crunchy peanut butter and the other topped with @lidluk blackcurrant conserve. Also having my advent calendar chocolate, strawberries and a milky @beaniescoffee 😁 .

#anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatana #beatanorexia #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #edarmy #edwarrior #healthynotskinny #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery #foodisfuel #healthylifestyle #fooddiary #balanceddiet #toasttuesday #coffee #breakfastideas

Good morning! #breakfast is a toasted @nybakeryco seeded bagel thin. One half topped with @marksandspencerfoodpr crunchy peanut butter and the other topped with @lidluk blackcurrant conserve. Also having my advent calendar chocolate, strawberries and a milky @beaniescoffee 😁 . #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #beatana #beatanorexia #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edcommunity #edfamily #edarmy #edwarrior #healthynotskinny #nourishnotpunish #prorecovery #foodisfuel #healthylifestyle #fooddiary #balanceddiet #toasttuesday #coffee #breakfastideas

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Milieu de semaine déjà 😉.
Pas bien digérer d'hier soir donc la nuit a été difficile et je me sens toujours barbouillée ce matin 😓.
Mais la journée n'est pas perdue pour si peu et ça va le faire 😉.
#TCA #eatingdisorder #anorexie #anorexierecovery #food #healthy  #healthyrecipe #healthyfood #glutenfree #PumpUpPartner #fitfood #eatcleen #journalalimentaire #reequilibragealimentaire  #alimentationsaine #manger #mangersain #mangermieux #anorexiarecovery #sansgluten #anarecovery #petitdejeuner #breakfast #WBC #fitness #fitnessbody #workbodychallenge

Milieu de semaine déjà 😉. Pas bien digérer d'hier soir donc la nuit a été difficile et je me sens toujours barbouillée ce matin 😓. Mais la journée n'est pas perdue pour si peu et ça va le faire 😉. #TCA #eatingdisorder #anorexie #anorexierecovery #food #healthy  #healthyrecipe #healthyfood #glutenfree #PumpUpPartner #fitfood #eatcleen #journalalimentaire #reequilibragealimentaire  #alimentationsaine #manger #mangersain #mangermieux #anorexiarecovery #sansgluten #anarecovery #petitdejeuner #breakfast #WBC #fitness #fitnessbody #workbodychallenge

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Went out to do photography with Jacob as my model, then went to his work holiday party and it was actually a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I think I may be coming down with the flu, I’ve just been feeling pretty bad today, tired, and waves of nausea. I pushed myself a lot with food today even though I really had no interest in it. Tomorrow I will rest up and hope I feel better! 
#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #ed #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #fighting #bpd #depression #sad #hopeless #anarecovery #borderline #bipolar #anxiety #treatment #fighting #depressed #angry #starving #selfhate #struggling #helpme

Went out to do photography with Jacob as my model, then went to his work holiday party and it was actually a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I think I may be coming down with the flu, I’ve just been feeling pretty bad today, tired, and waves of nausea. I pushed myself a lot with food today even though I really had no interest in it. Tomorrow I will rest up and hope I feel better! #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #ed #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #fighting #bpd #depression #sad #hopeless #anarecovery #borderline #bipolar #anxiety #treatment #fighting #depressed #angry #starving #selfhate #struggling #helpme

16 likes - 16 comments
Afternoon snack is yogurt with granola, pineapple, banana, strawberry, rockmelon and papaya + chocolate almond milk 🍍🍌🍓🍈🥛

Afternoon snack is yogurt with granola, pineapple, banana, strawberry, rockmelon and papaya + chocolate almond milk 🍍🍌🍓🍈🥛

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Chia parfaits😍 These are spiced with cacao powder and gingerbread spice🍫🍪 I have come to accept that I don't like My body. I don't actually remember If I ever have.I think it's okay as long as I keep nourishing it.
 If you are positive about your body, thats wonderful!!! But I like to remind you that it's okay not to like what you see, as long as you take care of it💗
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#vegan#vegaani#veganmeal#veganbreakfast #veganfood#vegansnack #veganteen #whatveganseat #healthybreakfast #healthyfood #healthyvegan #breakfastideas #veganrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfighter #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #iamnot1in5 #foodphotography #food #breakfast #chia#chiapudding #chiaparfait #berries #loveyourself #plantbased #recoveryisworthit

Chia parfaits😍 These are spiced with cacao powder and gingerbread spice🍫🍪 I have come to accept that I don't like My body. I don't actually remember If I ever have.I think it's okay as long as I keep nourishing it. If you are positive about your body, thats wonderful!!! But I like to remind you that it's okay not to like what you see, as long as you take care of it💗 _____ #vegan #vegaani #veganmeal #veganbreakfast #veganfood #vegansnack #veganteen #whatveganseat #healthybreakfast #healthyfood #healthyvegan #breakfastideas #veganrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edfighter #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #iamnot1in5 #foodphotography #food #breakfast #chia #chiapudding #chiaparfait #berries #loveyourself #plantbased #recoveryisworthit

79 likes - 79 comments
Hello ! Vous allez bien ?
Aujourd'hui pudding de chia ! Comme y'a deux jours ? 🤔 je vois pas ce que vous voulez dire 😅 Ok c'est une véritable addiction je l'avoue... mais bon c'est une addiction bonne pour la santé, alors c'est pas si grave si ? Ok peut être un peu pour mon porte monnaie 😂👍 Ducoup même recette que le post précédent sur le pudding de chia que vous retrouverez dans mon profil 😊
Passez une journée en or .
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#healthylifestyle #healthybreakfast #healthyfood #cleanfood #vegetalien #vegan #végétarien #confortfood #lucuma #macapowder #cinnamon #soja #soya #chiapudding #chiaseed #puddingdechia #chia #kiwi  #fights #fightana #anarecovery #anorexierecovery #anorexiarecovery #orthorexiarecovery #freedom #hollidays #work #sciencespo #automne

Hello ! Vous allez bien ? Aujourd'hui pudding de chia ! Comme y'a deux jours ? 🤔 je vois pas ce que vous voulez dire 😅 Ok c'est une véritable addiction je l'avoue... mais bon c'est une addiction bonne pour la santé, alors c'est pas si grave si ? Ok peut être un peu pour mon porte monnaie 😂👍 Ducoup même recette que le post précédent sur le pudding de chia que vous retrouverez dans mon profil 😊 Passez une journée en or . . . #healthylifestyle #healthybreakfast #healthyfood #cleanfood #vegetalien #vegan #végétarien #confortfood #lucuma #macapowder #cinnamon #soja #soya #chiapudding #chiaseed #puddingdechia #chia #kiwi #fights #fightana #anarecovery #anorexierecovery #anorexiarecovery #orthorexiarecovery #freedom #hollidays #work #sciencespo #automne

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Sorry that I haven’t posted today guys, had a super busy day and was with friends constantly so hard to take photos. But had a cheese & ham toasted sandwich for lunch, subway for dinner, skittles for snack, and these after dinner. They’re Cadbury Christmas tree decorations and they’re so good!

Sorry that I haven’t posted today guys, had a super busy day and was with friends constantly so hard to take photos. But had a cheese & ham toasted sandwich for lunch, subway for dinner, skittles for snack, and these after dinner. They’re Cadbury Christmas tree decorations and they’re so good!

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Okay outside, fight in head.

I think...why I should care about my problmes...then...someone talks to me and says that

Okay outside, fight in head. I think...why I should care about my problmes...then...someone talks to me and says that "Everybody have a lots of problem even if you don't know...." And when I hear this I realize that I shouldn't care about me...about my promlems and health...it means I want to be everyday okay and without flu or pain in leg...I just want to look "okay"...and yes...maybe my heart doesn't accept it for a longer race...but now let everyone think that I am okay. #blonde #dress #healthylifestyle #healthyfood #myfitnesspal #fitnesslifestyle #fitgirl #instaworld #instaphoto #fitness #instagram #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #recovery #cleaneating #eatclean #healthyeating #food #healthy

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snacking 🤤
challenging my biggest food rule; someone HAS TO SEE ME eat. but right now i’m alone at home and i’m craving something sweet soooo snack right after breakfast it is even tho my mom isnt seeing me eat it!
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#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #prorecovery #edfam #anafighter #recovery #recoverywin #fearfood #beatana #edwarrior #edfighter #pocky #snack #snacking #food

snacking 🤤 challenging my biggest food rule; someone HAS TO SEE ME eat. but right now i’m alone at home and i’m craving something sweet soooo snack right after breakfast it is even tho my mom isnt seeing me eat it! - #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #prorecovery #edfam #anafighter #recovery #recoverywin #fearfood #beatana #edwarrior #edfighter #pocky #snack #snacking #food

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In case no ones told you today:
- you’re doing great
- things will get better
- have a good day
- nice butt

In case no ones told you today: - you’re doing great - things will get better - have a good day - nice butt

219 likes - 219 comments
Well, today has been terrible. My heartburn and acid reflux have been at an all time high and it’s been absolutely awful. I also slipped into counting at night which led to overeating actually which sucks because that makes acid reflux worse and now I’m in bed in lots of pain.
Morning: Cocoa chai black tea and chocolate oats topped with shredded sweetened coconut and roasted peanuts 
Afternoon: Unpictured cocoa chai black tea and three tea biscuits. Pictured is a mango kulfi ice cream that I had to calm the heartburn down and it helped a bit.
Evening: I had two pictured bowls of fruit which included 3/4’s of a persimmon, half of a banana, a bit of jonagold apple, and a gala apple, then for ‘dinner’ my mom made (oilless) grilled corn with walnuts, then I had some whole milk yogurt with sweetened shredded coconut and banana (had more than pictured). Then I had another gala apple because at this point I started counting again and that triggered me into feeling bingey. I was really full but I kept going and had another (unpictured) apple, this time a smallish fuji one. Then I had carrots and a bit of cucumber. I had some unpictured warm light strawberry nesquik milk as well. I feel like utter crap right now because I ate way too much and my stomach hurts as well as the heartburn. I’ve had four berry flavored tums, some cold fat free milk, unpictured light apple juice and I’m still in so much pain right now 😞 Today’s just been bad. I wish I didn’t eat so much. I wasn’t hungry at all and I was so full, but I kept freaking eating, why do I this to myself?

Well, today has been terrible. My heartburn and acid reflux have been at an all time high and it’s been absolutely awful. I also slipped into counting at night which led to overeating actually which sucks because that makes acid reflux worse and now I’m in bed in lots of pain. Morning: Cocoa chai black tea and chocolate oats topped with shredded sweetened coconut and roasted peanuts Afternoon: Unpictured cocoa chai black tea and three tea biscuits. Pictured is a mango kulfi ice cream that I had to calm the heartburn down and it helped a bit. Evening: I had two pictured bowls of fruit which included 3/4’s of a persimmon, half of a banana, a bit of jonagold apple, and a gala apple, then for ‘dinner’ my mom made (oilless) grilled corn with walnuts, then I had some whole milk yogurt with sweetened shredded coconut and banana (had more than pictured). Then I had another gala apple because at this point I started counting again and that triggered me into feeling bingey. I was really full but I kept going and had another (unpictured) apple, this time a smallish fuji one. Then I had carrots and a bit of cucumber. I had some unpictured warm light strawberry nesquik milk as well. I feel like utter crap right now because I ate way too much and my stomach hurts as well as the heartburn. I’ve had four berry flavored tums, some cold fat free milk, unpictured light apple juice and I’m still in so much pain right now 😞 Today’s just been bad. I wish I didn’t eat so much. I wasn’t hungry at all and I was so full, but I kept freaking eating, why do I this to myself?

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It’s not going to get any better unless I actively try to make it better. I’m making small increases and will see where that’ll take me. I have to live through this and see the other side because I hear it’s greener.. and I just want to see it with my own eyes. Lunch from today was my pesto sandwich with extra chicken and cheese, and some apple slices.

It’s not going to get any better unless I actively try to make it better. I’m making small increases and will see where that’ll take me. I have to live through this and see the other side because I hear it’s greener.. and I just want to see it with my own eyes. Lunch from today was my pesto sandwich with extra chicken and cheese, and some apple slices.

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Today I said goodbye to my therapist...the only person to truly know every single aspect of who I am. She watched me tease and tempt death, and then she got to watch me overcome all my pain. I’ve never known a person so full of love and acceptance, and so ready to welcome me for every part of who I am. I’ve heard my eating disorder creep in a lot since this morning when I said goodbye. It’s told me that now since I won’t see her anymore, I don’t have to be held accountable. It’s told me that now since she’s gone there’s no one left to care what happens to me. It’s tried really hard to fight against my hunger and convince me that losing myself again will fix all the hurt.
I’m fighting back, though. 
I’m challenging those thoughts with ideas that would make the people who love me proud. 
I’m EATING. Regardless of how much emotion I’m working through, I’m forcing myself to nourish my body. It’s not fun, and I don’t feel worthy, but it’s what I deserve. It’s what the people who’ve invested their hearts and souls in my survival deserve. 
Pain is HARD. Pain is excruciating. And pain is something that can happen while still taking care of yourself. I hope everyone remembers to love themselves through every part of their journey, no matter what. .
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#fedup #fedupwithed #anorexia #anarecovery #edrecovery #therapy #therapist #selflove #selfacceptance

Today I said goodbye to my therapist...the only person to truly know every single aspect of who I am. She watched me tease and tempt death, and then she got to watch me overcome all my pain. I’ve never known a person so full of love and acceptance, and so ready to welcome me for every part of who I am. I’ve heard my eating disorder creep in a lot since this morning when I said goodbye. It’s told me that now since I won’t see her anymore, I don’t have to be held accountable. It’s told me that now since she’s gone there’s no one left to care what happens to me. It’s tried really hard to fight against my hunger and convince me that losing myself again will fix all the hurt. I’m fighting back, though. I’m challenging those thoughts with ideas that would make the people who love me proud. I’m EATING. Regardless of how much emotion I’m working through, I’m forcing myself to nourish my body. It’s not fun, and I don’t feel worthy, but it’s what I deserve. It’s what the people who’ve invested their hearts and souls in my survival deserve. Pain is HARD. Pain is excruciating. And pain is something that can happen while still taking care of yourself. I hope everyone remembers to love themselves through every part of their journey, no matter what. . . . . . . . #fedup #fedupwithed #anorexia #anarecovery #edrecovery #therapy #therapist #selflove #selfacceptance

15 likes - 15 comments
Body image is horrible. Although I am happy to be free of treatment right now, it is hard at times to manage the thoughts. However, I went to the movies with my cousin today and had such a wonderful time. I love the cinema. I always have. ☺️
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#eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #recovery #mentalhealth #edrecovery #prorecovery #anarecovery #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #bodypositive #foodismedicine #morethananumber #bopo #eatingdisorder #vegan #veganrecovery #plantbased #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anawarrior #anafighter #anorexiawarrior #ed #ana #anawho #nourishtoflourish #healthyeating #edfighter #edfamily

Body image is horrible. Although I am happy to be free of treatment right now, it is hard at times to manage the thoughts. However, I went to the movies with my cousin today and had such a wonderful time. I love the cinema. I always have. ☺️ . . . . #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #recovery #mentalhealth #edrecovery #prorecovery #anarecovery #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #bodypositive #foodismedicine #morethananumber #bopo #eatingdisorder #vegan #veganrecovery #plantbased #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anawarrior #anafighter #anorexiawarrior #ed #ana #anawho #nourishtoflourish #healthyeating #edfighter #edfamily

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